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Deadly Combination

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Deadly Combination

Postby Ticalrecords » Mar 10th, '10, 00:28

I'm planning to rap a song with my friend, over Deadly Combination - a beat i have to kill. this is the first thing i wrote so dissect that shit. yk

I’m heated! And it got nothing to do with whats got me baked/
cant stop wont stop – blame these faulty breaks/
bless that acceleration pad – the bar is set at such a high elevation that,
I gotta hold my breath – gives me a sedation medication can’t/
damn I cant remember the last time I used my lungs for respiration man/
prolly cuz drugs are never marketed with an expiration tag/
but fuck it – these veins are only as valuable as the drugs up it/
im a machine whose pipes are corroded - its like my very blood’s blunted/
blood stained knives - that once claimed lives – aint got shit on me man ill blunt blades by/
handing you my wrist and reminding you to cut straight lines/
I want the blood to flow like how a flood plain might/
freakin out when you see nothing leakin out,
this valium is a kidney stone for my veins I gotta squeeze it out/
pull the joint out of my mouth to point out that my veins have gills/
so chinky eyed this aint the first time iv mistook cans of paint as pills/
wow aint that a deadly combination/
manic depression got me feelin highs and lows in steady osculation/
my flow has similes like the dead sea has salt – heavy concentration/
and fuck music – I wanna be the punchline of every conversation/
BIATCH – im livin life as a reckless drug abuser/
I guess I lucked out seeing as music is the weapon of the future/
armed with a pen and pad and a face that only the cynical mood fits/
so watch me down 16 bar shots and vomit lyrical bullets/
(like smokey in Friday) Daaaamn - (cough) now thats def a deadly combination?/
too much life lived - without restraint or moderation/keep it comin' ron G - this is called responding, theres really nothin on me, to admit indirectly admits thats something faulty/haha speaking without thinking appalls me/ peace :smoking:
Ticalrecords
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Re: Deadly Combination

Postby Fa-Q » Mar 10th, '10, 01:08

Man I see you on here all the time, good to see you finally drop


K well first off, te rhyming is a bit off. I know you might be able to slur into rhyming but it looks better if the rhyming is crisp and syllables match up. Second, which doesn't really matter, structure needs to improve...and third the subject matter, most important. This is a very generic subject matter...think of a good subject matter and a good concept and write off that...

But good drop...keep it up man
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