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Deathening

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Deathening

Postby RealSickLindley » Apr 22nd, '10, 04:50

I can't find my mind, it's hid in a rhyme,
It's not a crime to cope a line if it helps with your lines,
Said it a thousand times, as LA's roamer,
Don't look over and dispose of a tone cos you weren't sober,
Original loner, they're not allowed in my cell,
I can tell you could scan hell and not dwell on what i can tell,
A bad spell, so i take illegal mental healing,
The feelings i'm reeling help me not to float to the ceiling,
My skin is peeling, they're jokin' all my flows,
Ki knows to burn bridges like the whole of Docherty's nose,
Yeah man that blows.. How i need the boost,
Usually choose to clear my throat, like i used a nous,
Cos i bring some news, to really all of my foes,
All hoe's that know how it goes should be on their toes,
Bring a consolation rose, should've stayed home,
Your hood should use it to hide the blood on your gravestone..
My Top 5 (in no order)-

Eminem
Big l
Biggie Smalls
Royce Da 5'9"
Jigga

'If you do it, it's only to a degree, i am the AIDS.. No one wants to do it with me..'
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Re: Deathening

Postby GoodGirlsGetGutted » Apr 22nd, '10, 07:25

The rhymes are pretty good, but I'm having a hard time finding an unifying theme within your piece.
Can you tell me what it means, or what message you're trying to convey?
Do to others whatever you would like them to do to you. This is the essence of all that is taught in the law and the prophets.
-Matthew 7:12

-Chaos zawladnal światem po raz kolejny-
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Re: Deathening

Postby gutawafang » Apr 26th, '10, 10:34

flow could be better. some nameplay and punches I don't quite get it. but quite good overall. :y:
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