The TRshady Forum became read-only in December 2014. The 10 year history will live on, in this archive.
Continue the discussion with the new home for the Eminem and Hip Hop discussion: HipHopShelter.com.

Wanna Be

Want to share a poem, story or a moving article? Share creative literature text here.

Re: Wanna Be

Postby GoodGirlsGetGutted » May 7th, '10, 07:35

The concept is great, and that's half the battle.
The lyrics aren't too bad for a beginner.
The flow wasn't really on time for the most part, and most rhymes didn't go past 2 syllables.
That's very common though, and those things kind of fix themselves as you gain experience.
Keep at it, and keep posting here as you improve.

Edit: I accidentally clicked the next word in my PS3's text prediction box. Typo.
Last edited by GoodGirlsGetGutted on May 7th, '10, 07:43, edited 1 time in total.
Do to others whatever you would like them to do to you. This is the essence of all that is taught in the law and the prophets.
-Matthew 7:12

-Chaos zawladnal światem po raz kolejny-
User avatar
GoodGirlsGetGutted
Under The Influence
Under The Influence
 
Posts: 4774
Joined: Nov 8th, '09, 10:17
Location: Buffalo, NY
Gender: Male

Return to Creative Writing



Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users