All Of Me

[mcZu]

This is an excerpt from a piece I'm writing, yes, I'm still not done with it. It's long, really, really long. It's mostly personal, so I chose the least personal piece which I wanted to post on here. Beware, even this lil' excerpt is long. Enjoy.

...
When fears fear each other, they both left hang like an earring be
I’m fearing fear and at the same time fear is fearing me
I’m left on the ground, right, I just write where I left off call it ambidexterity
I can touch her but she is just out of my reach, you feeling me?
For real, see, It’s like falling in love with a goddess
Never tell your God how big your problem is, but tell your problem how big your God is..
Let’s be honest, it’s like love hates me but look I love the hate
So people that love to hate hate the love that love got for me, wait..
Let’s get this straight, I just can’t take it
How am I supposed to act normal and fake it
Whenever I see her I feel like a silent siren yet I’m being blatant
I’m heading like the top of an article towards a straight end
See, me and her are just friends, I can’t possible make that friendship end
Even if I want her to be my girlfriend..
And.. I can’t figure out what my heart is telling me
Figures, a heart always tries be secretive like a felony
I’m trying to listen but I can’t figure out my hearts melody
Can it be, that I’m facing vanity or should I just plead insanity?
I relate to depression, does that make us immediate family?
Can I flee? It feels like a shot in the heart, not from Cupid
From a nine mm desert eagle, no arrow but a bullet, stupid
Right through a narrow passage in my heart, useless..
Valentine’s day would be appropriate now, not for the lovely day’s caliber
But ‘cause it feels like the Valentine’s day massacre..
If I would ask her what she thinks of me, what would she say?
Besides that we’re friends, what else could she possibly say?
Feelings can show up as a posse some say..
To search for the rationality during this period of insanity
However, the emotions are from a different nationality
‘cause the casualties are brought down to one, just me
So why would someone walk on a ladder with me that’s rusty
My heart is locked up in a box, probably mad dusty
Guess that’s why I box with my feelings, trying to knock out Rocky
Do you copy? I never tried to copy but jealousy is a human trait
You may wait ‘cause the stakes are of human trade
Meaning my lie ability shrinks when I acquire a new asset
I think, I need to figure out this puzzle as said
Before I’ll be gone in this astronomical figure of madness
I’m lost in the finale but this isn’t the show Lost
I’m too proud, even if I’m on the ground I’ll never show loss
That shows such a ground for me being stubborn
I always try to view things from a different side, I leave no stone unturned
I’m playing with fire, however I’ve managed to stay unburned
For how long though? I don’t remember where I SAT like I’m unlearned
Not ‘cause I was high, nah, ‘cause everything turned
I circled around my feelings, my circle asked me what I was feeling
But I circled around the circle of feelings and told my circle what I wasn’t feeling
Now I’m feeling like an incomplete circle
She’s my other half, or am I exaggerating like the dress code of Urkle?
...