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a few blonde jokes

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a few blonde jokes

Postby MuNxMuN » Feb 18th, '06, 06:31

Just some blonde jokes I found on the net. :happy:

two blondes were driving to disneyland and saw a sign that said disneyland - left. so they turned around and went home

a blonde a brunette and an orange haired girl were in a swimming carnival and 1 of the events was breaststroke and the black came 1st the brunette came second and the blonde goes no fair they used their hands! :laughing:

Why did the blonde nurse bring a red marker to work?
In case she had to draw blood

a blonde went into a store and asked the person at the front desk if she could have the tv. and the guy goes no ur blonde. so she comes back the next day and says can i plz have that tv. no cause ur blonde. so she comes back the next day and has died her hair black and asks 4 the tv again the guy goes sorry but we dont sell 2 blondes and the girl goes how do u no im blonde the guy says because thats a microwave

Two blondes were driving along a road by a wheat field when they saw a blonde in the middle of the field rowing a row boat.
The driver blonde turned to her friend and said "You know - it's blondes like that that give us a bad name!"
To this, the other blonde replies "I know it, and if I knew how to swim, I'd go out there and drown her."

How can you tell if a blonde's been using the computer?
There's white-out on the screen.

why did the blonde go out to her mailbox about 50 times everyday?
cuz every time she got on the computer it said "you have mail!"

there was a russian an american and a blonde the russian said we were in space first the american said we were on the moon first the blonde said well im gonna be the first 1 on the sun and the russian replied you cant go to the sun youll burn up the blonde told him DUH!! im gonna go at night :laughing::laughing:

What does a blonde say when you ask her if her blinker is working?
Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No.

What goes VROOM, SCREECH, VROOM, SCREECH, VROOM, SCREECH?
A blonde going through a flashing red light.

How did the blonde try to kill the bird?
She threw it off a cliff
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Postby Hunneh_Buns » Feb 18th, '06, 07:06

:shocked: Wow that was alot of reading...no it wasn't :p I'm confused
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Postby hot_dogg » Mar 3rd, '06, 02:28

haha nice ones, i'll remember them
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Postby rory » Mar 3rd, '06, 19:43

lol!!!!these are cool,thanks :laughing:
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Postby Mc Cubz » Mar 4th, '06, 00:39

long but gud :)
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Postby Ivy » Mar 4th, '06, 00:51

I like the swimming one the best....
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Postby Mc Cubz » Mar 4th, '06, 01:12

yeye me 2
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Postby jamieboysmith69 » Mar 4th, '06, 01:34

OKAY!!............. *holds breath for a second* :zipped:

I live in Essex in the UK where so-called 'Essex girl jokes' originate and blonde jokes like these are flowing at a pretty much constant rate... :whistle:

A few I've heard while I've been out drinking with friends....... :D

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What does a blonde do with her asshole before sex?
Drops him off at the pub!
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Why did the blonde girl stare at the orange juice carton?
Because it said 'concentrate' on it!
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What do blondes put behind their ears to attract men?
Their legs!
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Why did the blonde cross the road?
Never mind that; what the hell was she doing out of the bedroom?!
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How do you get a blondes eyes to sparkle?
Shine a light in her ear!
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What's the advantage of being married to a blonde?
You can park in the handicapped zone?
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Why did the blonde have square boobs?
She forgot to take the tissues out of the box!
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What is the first thing a blonde learns on her first driving lesson?
OMG! She CAN sit upright in a car!!
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What do you get when you stand a blonde on her head?
A Brunette with bad breath!
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*feels guilty*

MY DISCLAIMER!!! *thinks about the fun of being flamed*

I'd just like to say that my girlfriend is blonde and I've been with her for two years and she is the most amazing thing in my life and I love her more than life itself ;) and I've just got to say that I don't agree with any of these jokes, but they are very funny if you live where I do!

So for any blondes reading this, jamieboysmith69 loves you all :worship:

I've got LOADS more!! Just say the word!!

Cheers :whistle:
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Postby RI$KY REPPIN EN3 » Mar 7th, '06, 22:40

ha ha :D
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