JBM - Focus

[JBM]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s1GJNynml6Y




Feed:
viewtopic.php?f=38&t=100025&start=15

[JBM]

up......

[Emadyville]

The hook on this was pretty good, the flow was pretty good on it, there was one line where it slipped up slightly but it def wasn't bad. I liked the structure on the hook too, even tho it was the same as the verses it worked with the beat.

As for your verses, your flow was good, there were a few parts where maybe an extra syllable, or less syllables made you slightly pause or rush, but they were minimal, so overall the flow was good. The content was solid, its very relatable to people on here I'm sure. The rhymes were pretty simple, but it worked for this track. The delivery was pretty good, you had a nice sorta sad/depressed sound that fit the content, but I think there were some parts where you coulda put a little more anger into your delivery, like at the end when you talked about your landlord (those 2 lines I thought were dope btw). Your voice is good on this too, and the quality wasn't bad, not great but it's definitely replayable.

Good work

[Emadyville]

O and if you fed someone elses track, edit your OP and post the link to your feed, cause that's the rules, or chambers will lock this. I won't cause this is his section, but if you don't do it by tomo and he isn't here I'll have to man, so do that for yourself so this doesn't get locked

[Mr. Chambers]

^^^^^^^^^^^^^

[JBM]

The hook on this was pretty good, the flow was pretty good on it, there was one line where it slipped up slightly but it def wasn't bad. I liked the structure on the hook too, even tho it was the same as the verses it worked with the beat.

As for your verses, your flow was good, there were a few parts where maybe an extra syllable, or less syllables made you slightly pause or rush, but they were minimal, so overall the flow was good. The content was solid, its very relatable to people on here I'm sure. The rhymes were pretty simple, but it worked for this track. The delivery was pretty good, you had a nice sorta sad/depressed sound that fit the content, but I think there were some parts where you coulda put a little more anger into your delivery, like at the end when you talked about your landlord (those 2 lines I thought were dope btw). Your voice is good on this too, and the quality wasn't bad, not great but it's definitely replayable.

Good work

Thanks a lot for the feed on both tracks man, appreciate it.

[B.A.D.]

lol. I made the same song

not with the same beat, or same lyrics, but same title and same concept lol It will be on the next album I'm dropping really soon. I'll let you know if you want to hear

the song is good as man, only the mixing could improve a bit to make it sound more pro

definitively a hot song, what I think could be changed is the flow, cuz it sounds a bit harsh on the ear u know. try a more easy going one. I like the effect you added at the end of some of your lines. like the echoy

what does JBM stands for? I like it.

[JBM]

lol. I made the same song

not with the same beat, or same lyrics, but same title and same concept lol It will be on the next album I'm dropping really soon. I'll let you know if you want to hear

the song is good as man, only the mixing could improve a bit to make it sound more pro

definitively a hot song, what I think could be changed is the flow, cuz it sounds a bit harsh on the ear u know. try a more easy going one. I like the effect you added at the end of some of your lines. like the echoy

what does JBM stands for? I like it.

Thanks for the feed.

Thats crazy. Too bad we didnt knowm we could have made a collab .
Yea my mixing is pretty basic but it's all i really know .

JBM is simply my initals.