DR3 ft BILI- Forgive Me

[BILI]

Dr3

God I didn't mean to do it, my finger slipped, I swear to you
I don't wanna meet the devil, but now I guess I have to do, it
forsaken, do your own creations, deserve to be suffering
forgive me this one time, I think I'm finally toughening, up
I'm sorry for doubting you, I need a second chance
I'm begging you, Lord, I need you to understand
I'm human, just like Jesus was, treat me like your son
revive me, I'm gonna do a better re-run, consider it done
just beam me up and I promise to, love and pay homage to
everything that's beautiful, you know I'm an honest dude
I was a measly man, in a world that didn't care
what, no room for my soul, damn, that just isn't fair
never been to prison there, that isn't enough for you
you're harsh as a motherfucker, hard to get through
I guess I gotta start traveling to the damned land
standing up to the demons, that's the only plan at hand

BILI

In my last seconds, I just saw it all
My ups and my falls,trapped behind these dry walls
Holding my breath, there`s something I need to say to my death
"FUCK YOU, take me now that she left"
Everything`s a contest and you just try to win it
I dont even care for life, I just live it
Its my last show and now I`m the star
Shit, I never thought I`ll come this far
Sorry but I never was a good guy
Thats why there`s no good in this goodbye
They say pain will come and go, mine is slow
Trust me, you wont be fine wit cro
Tears on both cheeks, was it that whack?
Why did I ever save time, I never got it back?

I have a writers block,thats why mine is not as good.

[gvdz]

is this from detox?

[dR3]

Link of feedback:
viewtopic.php?p=1419112#p1419112

[remy3x]

dR3 - I really like it, especially the beginning
BILI - I like the first half a lot, this part the most:

Holding my breath, there`s something I need to say to my death
"FUCK YOU, take me now that she left"

The rest wasn't so good.

[SlimShadyX313X]

Bili's first part is sick and matches really well

[Devil'sAdvocate]

[BILI]

Thx everyone

[ThomasJ]

Dr3:

Overall it was nice, the flow slipped up at times, you just need to balance out the lines, add/remove syllables.

This line stood out to me :

just beam me up and I promise to, love and pay homage to
everything that's beautiful, you know I'm an honest dude

If you fixed it up like this, for example :

just beam me up, I promise to, love and pay homage to
everything that's beautiful, you know that I'm an honest dude

It flows better, but it's still the same.

BILI:

You had a very nice beginning, but kinda got lost afterwards.
You need to improve your flow a bit IMO.

Overall, this was a dope piece guys, keep it up.

[BILI]

Thx TJ

[Sam.]

Both the verses were aight
BILI only thing you did wrong was the structuring i feel.

I have a writers block,thats why mine is not as good.

It's keelin me too.
Yeah ! that tells the whole story.

[classthe_king]

I really liked the subject of this, very original. Dr3, you're flow was off sometimes, but only barely. As I was reading it I was subconsciencely adding words in to make it flow better, lol that sounds weird. I don't know the beat you wrote too so I can't judge for sure some of it just sounded weird to me. This was my favorite part though

just beam me up and I promise to, love and pay homage to
everything that's beautiful, you know I'm an honest dude

Bili I liked yours too but I could tell you were in a writers block. If both of you would have just thrown in some multis it would have been much better.

[dR3]

Thanks for the feed guys, it's really appreciated.

[Ka0t1c]

i liked this line:

Holding my breath, there`s something I need to say to my death
"FUCK YOU, take me now that she left"

i liked what dr3 was writing, it just lacked multis, the lyrics could be more rhyme friendly too like i felt at the end, those rhymes didn't fit in with the ones in the lines before which made it sound off in my ears

[BILI]

thx everyone

[dR3]

Thanks Kev!


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