Rap's Shallow Grave

by **WakeUpShow** » Dec 21st, '10, 07:33

Legacy in the game, is the pinnacle of rap
Not punches, not multis, or the cynical smack
Talk, Talk, Talk, but they're never backing it up
No classics, no records and they're still yappin it up
Unaware that the hole they dig is growing ever deeper
Oblivious that they only narrowly escape the clever reaper
Their shallow minds think crayola box chains are the answer
Trust is gone you can bet that you'll be backstabbed by a lancer
Dancing on screen, and singing catchy bullshit prewritten hooks
Take my hand, I'm gonna show you your faults, please sit and look
Take a look, you can't see my eyes, so I've got to make the song cry
Tears are shed, I haven't felt this way about a friend in such a long time
So wear you faux fur, dance your 2-step, and repeat your self on every song
We'll just laugh, knowing you'll look back and realize that you were very wrong

http://www.forum.trshady.com/viewtopic.php?f=24&t=104472

by **WakeUpShow** » Dec 21st, '10, 19:19

anyone?

by **Sam.** » Dec 21st, '10, 19:25

looks like a pyramid :laughing:

Take a look, you can't see my eyes, so I've got to make the song cry
Tears are shed, I haven't felt this way about a friend in such a long time
So wear you faux fur, dance your 2-step, and repeat your self on every song
We'll just laugh, knowing you'll look back and realize that you were very wrong

i really liked these

by **ShaBruv** » Dec 21st, '10, 22:03

Great piece, lots of good unforced multis,

its honestly good to see how you've improved so much

keep them to at least this standard and you'll be away

Maybe next time, since you wrote longlines, try get a bit of interline rhyming like

Ever breathless i see things when i sleep
Nevertheless, i peep it then i weep

ok bad example but still

it will improve the flow and make it easier to read and flow :y:

by **WakeUpShow** » Dec 21st, '10, 22:26

thanks you 2! and Sha, I'm def going to incorporate internals into my next piece

by **VenomBlackViper** » Jan 3rd, '11, 05:03

Pretty dope shit :y:

If ya wanna keep it relevant replace two step with dougie lol.
Double :y:

for it being a pyramid

by **WakeUpShow** » Jan 3rd, '11, 05:20

venomblackviper wrote:Pretty dope shit
If ya wanna keep it relevant replace two step with dougie lol.
Double for it being a pyramid

hahaha thanks alot man

Rap's Shallow Grave

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