Fucked to hell

by **Yah-hah** » Jan 21st, '11, 21:36

Alone the dark is frozen start writing slicing with the coldest heart,
Rippin the throne apart Napoleon rippin every Bonaparte,
So now my open heart is spillin fluids,
I fill it with the illest music sow it with a million fuses,
Exploding with the building provin theres hopefully no feelings to it,
No matter how much I rhyme still it's stupid,
Really? Dude this is useless rhymin with no purpose,
Flying with no time zone's worthless cant keep track of times purpose,
Purpose, worthless, hurtin, flirtin with a million hundred thousand serpants,
Curvin, learnin, surfin, curtains, cursin with no whips or chains but still a servant,
How stupid as fuck is that crap? Its nothing but words shit,
No feelin emotions or purpose askin if this is really worth it?
Gave up a beautiful poetic sound for multis multis and more multis,
So now all you'll hear is homie, lonely, zoning spoken so much more coldly,
Screamin fuck this world and anyone whos said the same,
They dont know who the fuck I am or felt an ounce of my pain,
Oh shit everyone look I rhymed with only one syllable, holy shit
Now I better get back into the box they pulled me in,
Because I'm livin in a world where my wife slept 3 guys.. who werent me,
Once while she was pregnant with my kid just so it would hurt me,
Now she's tellin ME I cant see MY kid when he finally gets here,
Sh bounced and took the bed, tv, fridge, stove, dishes, washer, dryer, couch, loveseat, and the keyso finally this shits clear,
And yes that is a long line probably throws the flow off a bit,
Just to let you know a small part of this awful shit,
They say you write with such anger but with a wasted flow,
Well wat do you expect when my best friend hung himself two days ago,
Yeah thats 2 best friends that have killed themselves how you think that makes me feel,
So fuck the flow, the rhymes all this shit for 2 seconds,
Take head of each word I'm soon to teach a new lesson,
I work 78 hours a week at a job I absolutely fucking hate,
And guess what bitch spent each and every cent I'd ever fucking make yeah thats fucking great,
Workin in 15 degree weather for 14 hours a day Jesus Christ,
Take off my hard hat and stare straight at the sun guarantee I still wont see the light,
Sleepin on my brothers couch for 2 weeks straight,
This whole time I've only gotten 2 things srtraight,
1. Lifes a bitch and sent her daughter to come and fuck me over,
That bitch cunt sick slut screamin out fuck me slower,
2.I wont get custody and I'll spend my life apart from him, Native American hurting,
Because I was arrested and addicted to heroin when I was 13,
So now I'm a bad father before he ever came out of that whores womb,
12 gauge in my hands Lucas Cortez I'm 2 seconds from kickin in your door soon,
Oh wait didnt I do that last time you tried to fuck with my chick?
What you think I'ma do this time you try fuckin with my shit,
"Yah-hah think about it man aint no bitch worth all this bullshit,
You're only 19 calm down this shit is foolish, what are you doin?"
Oh ya thats right I'm 19 and this whole world wants to fail,
2pm I'm drunk as hell
It's all fucked to hell so I'm stayin fucked as well.

by **Tash8** » Jan 22nd, '11, 06:34

Rippin the throne apart Napoleon rippin every Bonaparte,

haha, nice one..love it.

Purpose, worthless, hurtin, flirtin with a million hundred thousand serpants,
Curvin, learnin, surfin, curtains, cursin with no whips or chains but still a servant,

ok well i like this, but there's a thing as overdoing it, and you did.. I say cut off two of those rhymes from each line and you'll be good. plus, I dont know how you can flow that, unless u stop a lot or u got incredible breath control.

Screamin fuck this world and anyone whos said the same,
They dont know who the fuck I am or felt an ounce of my pain,

ok well, first line -cliche, and you point it out..but then you come back with even a more cliche line.. havne't felt an ounce of my pain..come on man, ur way more creative than that, i mean just look at the bone apart line.

They say you write with such anger but with a wasted flow,
Well wat do you expect when my best friend hung himself two days ago,

ok well that's real sad, so i'm sorry, my condelences. but that was a good line and flowed well..

Sleepin on my brothers couch for 2 weeks straight,
This whole time I've only gotten 2 things srtraight,
1. Lifes a bitch and sent her daughter to come and fuck me over,
That bitch cunt sick slut screamin out fuck me slower,
2.I wont get custody and I'll spend my life apart from him, Native American hurting,
Because I was arrested and addicted to heroin when I was 13,
So now I'm a bad father before he ever came out of that whores womb,
12 gauge in my hands Lucas Cortez I'm 2 seconds from kickin in your door soon,

real good shit right here buddy, the native american hurting seemed to cause the flow to drop, but idk

Oh wait didnt I do that last time you tried to fuck with my chick?
What you think I'ma do this time you try fuckin with my shit,
"Yah-hah think about it man aint no bitch worth all this bullshit,
You're only 19 calm down this shit is foolish, what are you doin?"
Oh ya thats right I'm 19 and this whole world wants to fail,
2pm I'm drunk as hell
It's all fucked to hell so I'm stayin fucked as well.

seems a bit eminemish, but i dont see a problem with influence...but this is probably my fav part of the verrse, real good convo

would love ur feed on my new piece, smoke n ride.

ps. hope everything works out for you, but man, lifes a bitch, so you can't throw your life over a bitch, naw mean?

by **classthe_king** » Jan 22nd, '11, 15:39

Link of feed

by **Yah-hah** » Jan 22nd, '11, 17:21

[quote="Tash8"]Rippin the throne apart Napoleon rippin every Bonaparte,

haha, nice one..love it.

Purpose, worthless, hurtin, flirtin with a million hundred thousand serpants,
Curvin, learnin, surfin, curtains, cursin with no whips or chains but still a servant,

ok well i like this, but there's a thing as overdoing it, and you did.. I say cut off two of those rhymes from each line and you'll be good. plus, I dont know how you can flow that, unless u stop a lot or u got incredible breath control.

Yeah I did that on purpose didnt know if you could tell lol. I've been pretty upset at myself for not writing as well as I used to. It seems I just go for multis and kinda lost my poetic side. I really wanted to overemphasize it ya know. Kinda one of those overdue it because I hate that I always do it kinda things

Screamin fuck this world and anyone whos said the same,
They dont know who the fuck I am or felt an ounce of my pain,

ok well, first line -cliche, and you point it out..but then you come back with even a more cliche line.. havne't felt an ounce of my pain..come on man, ur way more creative than that, i mean just look at the bone apart line.
Another one of those kinda on purpose things. This whole song is a mix of a few emotions, the first half started out as me kinda bein mad at myself because my shit is becoming real clliche and predictable if that makes sense. Anybody can use a line like this I kinda wanted to sarcasticly mock myself but I get thats kinda hard to see lol probably shoulda explained it. Glad you kinda see it tho/b]

They say you write with such anger but with a wasted flow,
Well wat do you expect when my best friend hung himself two days ago,

ok well that's real sad, so i'm sorry, my condelences. but that was a good line and flowed well..
[b]Appreciate it man

Sleepin on my brothers couch for 2 weeks straight,
This whole time I've only gotten 2 things srtraight,
1. Lifes a bitch and sent her daughter to come and fuck me over,
That bitch cunt sick slut screamin out fuck me slower,
2.I wont get custody and I'll spend my life apart from him, Native American hurting,
Because I was arrested and addicted to heroin when I was 13,
So now I'm a bad father before he ever came out of that whores womb,
12 gauge in my hands Lucas Cortez I'm 2 seconds from kickin in your door soon,

real good shit right here buddy, the native american hurting seemed to cause the flow to drop, but idk
Yeah man to be honest I don't think I even re-read it to check the flow. This was kinda one of those, open a new topic, write some shit without proffing it or even checking my flow then posting lol Now that I read it I see what you mean. Sometimes I dont like to continually go over my pieces I feel it takes away from the raw emotion I normally write with in order to make it perfect and pretty for everyone else. But I normally at least go back to make sure everything sounds right. Just one of those days I finished and was like fuck it and I posted lol

Oh wait didnt I do that last time you tried to fuck with my chick?
What you think I'ma do this time you try fuckin with my shit,
"Yah-hah think about it man aint no bitch worth all this bullshit,
You're only 19 calm down this shit is foolish, what are you doin?"
Oh ya thats right I'm 19 and this whole world wants to fail,
2pm I'm drunk as hell
It's all fucked to hell so I'm stayin fucked as well.

seems a bit eminemish, but i dont see a problem with influence...but this is probably my fav part of the verrse, real good convo
Yeah I've done the whole talkin to myself during the verse thing quite a few times, IDK how it started it might be Means alot to take some time and feed something really personal. I'ma go and check that new shit right now bro. Appreciate it :y: