What will Eminem's next style be?

[EminemInsider]

As we all know, Eminem purposely and deliberately switches up his style every album. That's what makes him Eminem, man.

In his earliest work, he focused on making racist tracks, aimed primarily at black women. When he found out he couldn't get away with that, he decided to pattern his rap style after his idol, Vanilla Ice. The speed rapping "Soul Intent" Eminem was born...but soon, he betrayed the smartest person in the world, Chaos Kid, and joined the Illuminati.

He then got to work on making Infinite, where he bit Nas and AZ, rapping in a high pitched voice that proves he's actually gay, but the fans hated him for it and he only sold 500 copies because of that.

After Infinite failed because of how much it sucked despite tons of big name producers and a huge label backing it, Eminem decided to copy Esham and Cage. He bit their styles and also decided to bite Pacewon and the Outsidaz before traveling forward in time to bite 2001-and-beyond Masta Ace. Really, he was just a white Canibus. Only he's not nearly as lyrical as Canibus. Bis would chew him up and spit him out with his intelligence and deep, poetic lyrics.

From there, Eminem started to suck a little less, and eventually Dr. Dre saw some potential in him and reluctantly gave him a shot. This just shows what a marketing genius Dre is. Dre knew the American public was ready for a white rapper and he made millions on his investment. Dre got to work producing all of the Slim Shady LP and ghost writing Eminem's lyrics, while Eminem worked on learning basic grammar with a special ed teacher and a monkey. The monkey was there to give Eminem someone to talk to who was on the same level intellectually.

When Eminem dropped the Slim Shady LP, he realized it sucked because he had a high pitched voice and that made him sound really gay. So he switched up his style to sound less gay on Marshall Mathers LP.

After Marshall Mathers LP, Eminem realized he needed to start maturing, so he switched up his style to sound more mature on The Eminem Show.

After The Eminem Show, Eminem decided it was time to start popping pills and guzzling alcohol. This doesn't matter, though, as pills and alcohol had no effect on his music. They're actually not bad for you, everyone is addicted to drugs. Come on, name someone who isn't? I myself smoke crack almost every day.

So while he was taking 20 valiums per day, he realized he needed to mature even more, so he made Encore. This time, he decided to switch up his style by getting rid of all the hackneyed multis and incorporating flatulence and vomiting sounds to sprinkle in some badly needed wit and humor. He purposely was screwing around on many of the tracks while experimenting with his style, but his flow was never better. Nobody can mirror drums quite like Encore-Eminem did. Except for Ke$ha...her flow is also incredible, by the way. The way they say one syllable on each eight note, over and over again, until their 16 is complete and then go to the chorus...it requires some rare talent.

Unfortunately, most people were not smart enough to understand the point of all the tracks on the Encore album. Eminem then got a little carried away with the pills, falling on his ass and shitting and pissing himself before being rushed to the hospital to have his kidneys and liver flushed, but it really wasn't that big a deal. He also got a little carried away with the food, but he wasn't fat, just big boned.

Then he lost all the weight and made Relapse, and decided to do the stupid accent. It was whack and everyone was disappointed, expecting more Encore type gold.

So he went back to his roots on Recovery, shouting until his vocal chords didn't work in his throat no more. Recovery is so deep and meaningful and mature and his bestest album yet.

So what's next for the Man of Many Styles? Vote up!

[Satire]

He'll grow a beard, wear a hat and start rapping in a british accent.

This is fact.