Heavy Weight Champion

[WakeUpShow]

I rap as if rhyming were a second nature
I'll blow up as if my pen were a detonator
Blatant truth, up front and airing it out
Satan's booth, fucked up and scaring shit now
I'm a beauty and a beast
Couldn't move me in the least
Shouldn't shoot me in the feet
In the booth there be defeat
Riding into the sunset, a new sheriff round these parts
Treating cowards like Valentines and I'm throwing out cheap hearts
Matrix rhymes...at the last second see 'em
Are your legs best friends? cause no one ever gets between em


http://www.forum.trshady.com/viewtopic.php?f=24&t=109630&p=1547758#p1547758

[Emadyville]

cool rhyming, liked the flow of it a lot, and even though it was short, it was effective, nothing seemed outta place or "filler"...good shit

[Block]

I agree with emady. It seems like every time I read something from you, you've elevated again. Good job on this. My only quarrell, apart from it being so short, is the bolded parts.. Those are only necessary to point out multies to people who have no idea how or where to find them. If you're trying to get feedback from those people, you're already setting yourself up to fail. Anyone who will give you feedback worth listening to won't need you to point them out.

My only feedback would be to make your lines a little longer so they would fit on a beat. You seem to have multies and stuff down pretty well..

[WakeUpShow]

thanks alot guys. and i like to bold the rhymes because i try to rhyme whole lines, and have long end rhymes and inner rhyming, and then people end up saying "hey this was good, but the rhyming was pretty simple."

[WakeUpShow]

bump..

[_Steven_]

It seemed like it was rhyming just to rhyme. Not really any content. Solid multies but nothing that really stuck with me.

[WakeUpShow]

bump..