Never lucky.

[Trimss]

Link of feedback : viewtopic.php?f=24&t=109778

Yo everyone, so I decided to write something and to try to insert multis in it. It's kinda hard because it's really the beggining for me and my english vocabulary isn't that good, but i tried. There may be some errors in the italics part, some of them don't really rhyme i think. But here's my shot

Wrote while listening to this beat : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=loFqhq79PiA

I was never lucky with thatchick,
use to date the baddest bitch ,
she cheated me twice and without a doubt
she would do it again cuz her lies got caught
when someone told me the kind of slut she is,
i was disgusted and couldn't believe that, i was pissed,
if i could go back and rewrote my life i would do it,
i say it with proud and loud, right i should knew it
but you never know when a bitch is honest or not
I wasn't even rich but i bought them a lot,
of things just to make em stay with me,
i wanna throw her in a lake, far away from me
and some months later she came back sayin' she loves me,
Bitch Fuck you i won't fall again in the trap you made, see,
i'm grown now and won't ever call again, this crap fades me
So while i was ballin', i had a thought yeah, rap made me
i was going through a period of writers block, it shocked me
but now it's over, my sticky pad is full and overflowin' with rimes,
Ideas came to me, i'm better now and flowin' everything in my lines
it's like i don't have time to wait, grab the mic and get,
ready, i'mma tell you something worthy, listen well
don't trust a whore, never trust a bitch,
just fuck her when you're bored, that's it,

[Block]

Hey, man.. This was good for your first piece and english not being your first language. Your italics aren't really multies, but it's cool.. I mean, you can tell a story pretty well.