Old verse I dug up, feedback is appreciated

[RainMan44]

Link of feedback
viewtopic.php?f=24&t=109698&p=1558161#p1558161

P.S there's a bit at the end about religion...I wrote that when I was actually religious..Now, I've changed my views so fuck that part

Spend my days tryna figure out the purpose of life
And contemplatin' wether or not it's worth it to fight
Cuz in the end, the same results are seen
And a single fuckin' moment can tear apart your dreams
That's why this world is viewed as so horrid and cruel
Tryna hide the horrible truth, they go to war for some fuel?
Lives bein' taken for a cheap cost
Dignity still here, but common sense seems lost
Everyones heart, is broken, left without a token to cash
See a second of sanity and we hopin' it lasts
But it's just a vision, not reality, man this shit is so wrong
And I know I can't reach you just by singin' this song
Each & every individual gotta dig deep into they inner soul
Pull the demon up out of it, and kill it slow
I try my hardest, tear my heart just to reach the masses
But wise words are overshadowed by what they teach in classes
Promote evolution, but talkin' 'bout religion ain't right?
They dishin' us lies, so it's my decision to fight.

[Maybe]

I've always been a fan of political or religion based songs. This was very well done, with nice multies, great lines and generally good lyrics. The flow, structure, etc, was perfect. I enjoyed it thoroughly and encourage you to write a second verse.

[RainMan44]

I've always been a fan of political or religion based songs. This was very well done, with nice multies, great lines and generally good lyrics. The flow, structure, etc, was perfect. I enjoyed it thoroughly and encourage you to write a second verse.

Thanks a lot for the feed, I truly appreciate it.

I'm usually self conscious about my lyrics, and I always think they're terrible. But when people like you tell me I did a good job, I get encouraged to write even more. I'm going to write a couple more verses to this

[VenomBlackViper]

Nice verse man, even though my style is pretty much the opposite of this I still enjoyed it. Good use of multis & content, keep up writing

[RainMan44]

Nice verse man, even though my style is pretty much the opposite of this I still enjoyed it. Good use of multis & content, keep up writing

Thanks alot bro

[Master Chief]

Very relatebale subject matter, for me. It had some good enough rhyming and a few good lines. I will say that some seemed a bit generic so basically that's my only criticism. But, I enjoyed it overall man

[RainMan44]

Very relatebale subject matter, for me. It had some good enough rhyming and a few good lines. I will say that some seemed a bit generic so basically that's my only criticism. But, I enjoyed it overall man

Thanks for the feed, bro