dude you need to learn to form you rhyme schemes to the beat and make sure it hits were it suppose to hit. Your whole flow is off just because of were you chose to have the rhyme in the beat. You need to really practice riding the beat. Once you do this it will be much easier to listen to tbh. Get a real mic and a decent mixing program because you vocals sound like crap... no offense

. You also need to form some sort of delivery because its very low and monotone, sounds like your trying not to wake you parents up lol. Get some energy and get loud. Lyrics weren't bad though from as far as i read.
Tbh I only listened to the first verse because frankly, its hard to listen to. Your flow is off, your delivery was weak and I could barley hear your monotone voice. I apologize if im coming off like a dick but im just giving you my honest opinion in hopes you can improve a pon this.