by Objective » Aug 14th, '11, 13:00
Punchlines (3) = CREAM. Geno, you got some concepts going on but it seems to me that you aint putting them to the full potential.
Personals (3) = Geno. He went harder and strictly to the point. My advice for CREAM here is to stop hyping yourself up as much as you do. I mean; If you know you're dope you shouldn't need to tell everyone else that you are, let the lines speak for themselves instead or implement it in a way that it deals damage to your opponent.
It gives alot more room to go bashing out at your opponent instead of wasting words to tell the crowd that you're dope. Feel me? You got a dope written here for sure and you would have got your 3 pointer if it wasn't for the ''I'm the king of the Hill''-line. That line was a filler, used as a follow-up, i get that but make every line count.
Multi's (2) = CREAM (I don't understand why multis get 2 points in a battle-rap, that shouldn't be one of the main aspects imo. It looks and sounds dope but kinda useless in a battle and should be considered as flow. For topicals it should indeed be one of the main tho'. Again, that's just my opinion so nevermind about that. I'm at a different place and i'll follow your house-rules ^-^
Flow (1) = CREAM, Geno kinda fucked it up @ Slik with a pen/Alieus and inovation.. Shit didn't work out the way i read it.
Structure (1) = CREAM.
Vocab/Complex (1) = CREAM
C.R.E.A.M. (8) - Geno (3)
I'm also kinda against explaining your bars in the end of a battle.. That's a minus for me. Specially when it comes to structure. If you can't structure your rhymes to be understandable without explenation you got some work to do. I've yet to hear a track where the MC explains his bars at the end of it, ya feel me?
I understood why you felt like putting it out there tho' Geno but shit didn't hit home when i read it. Maybe because i don't know you that well but that's a risk you're taking when writing a line like that. Keep it up and keep your mind to improving your ish.
Peace ^-^