First Enslaved (Edited: Now 3 Verses)

[PeNGuiN ZoMbiE]

this honestly isn't my cup of tea, and there was no crazy rhyme scheme to draw me in but as far as the history goes and whatnot its spot on. it kinda makes me feel like i was reading out of textbook. maybe i'd like it better if i heard it recorded and executed properly. anyways that's my two pennies and id appreciate it if you could return them here:

viewtopic.php?f=24&t=123179

[MikeNUFC]

Cheers guys, appreciated.

[Tornado]

Randomly decided to check it since i saw it in Vet sec.

This has a perfect balance of lyrical structure and meaningful words, flowing together almost seamlessly. Third verse is the best crafted, i can almost imagine how it would sound on track. Why don't you record this shit?

[MikeNUFC]

Cheers bro, appreciate it. And I don't even record haha - not even got a mic (can't afford to purchase much right now).

[Maybe]

Can't believe I haven't commented. Amazing work man. Lyrically it was flawless, every word was in place and the whole thing was comprehensible.

The subject was well done, and covered the subject beautifully. The flow was off at a few points, but for the most part was great.

I'm hugely impressed man. Still one of the best...

[MikeNUFC]

Wow, thanks Maybe, appreciate the words. <ok>

[Mr.DGAF]

Damn man, one of the more impressive pieces I've ever seen on the forum. Lyrically, it's damn near flawless. The story, though, is something to really be proud of. How you managed to coherently tell a story like that and manage a great flow with amazing vocabulary is ridiculous. It's technically a fantastic piece man, well done.

Also, if it's possible, could you feed mine if you get a chance? It's called LIFE, I can't get the link right now because I'm not on a comp at the moment. But you seem to have a very good grasp of what makes a solid piece, so I'd be interested to see what you think of my ish.