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Eedee - "Why Do I"

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Re: Eedee - "Why Do I"

Postby Atone » Sep 23rd, '11, 23:09

T could imagin this on a different beat, thats the only issue i have with this song is that i don't like the beat, you got some good lyrics tho
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Re: Eedee - "Why Do I"

Postby gutawafang » Sep 24th, '11, 08:21

I swear the chorus made me facepalm. :facepalm

But the lyrics to the verses are superb man. Simple, yet on point. I like the chorus' lyrics but the way you did the chorus sucks man.

:y: for the verses
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Re: Eedee - "Why Do I"

Postby Eedee » Sep 24th, '11, 17:49

gutawafang wrote:I swear the chorus made me facepalm. :facepalm

But the lyrics to the verses are superb man. Simple, yet on point. I like the chorus' lyrics but the way you did the chorus sucks man.

:y: for the verses


Thanks for the feedback man. Could you elaborate just a bit more on what made the chorus so shitty?
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Re: Eedee - "Why Do I"

Postby Solace » Sep 24th, '11, 18:05

This chorus was horrible, the other was better...
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Re: Eedee - "Why Do I"

Postby Eedee » Sep 24th, '11, 18:11

Solace wrote:This chorus was horrible, the other was better...


What was it? Delivery? I can redo it, but I need to know what to fix....
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Re: Eedee - "Why Do I"

Postby gutawafang » Sep 24th, '11, 18:12

Eedee wrote:
gutawafang wrote:I swear the chorus made me facepalm. :facepalm

But the lyrics to the verses are superb man. Simple, yet on point. I like the chorus' lyrics but the way you did the chorus sucks man.

:y: for the verses


Thanks for the feedback man. Could you elaborate just a bit more on what made the chorus so shitty?


Elaboration for the chours?
It has no flow, your voice sucks, your delivery sucks, the lyrics suck, it's boring, stupid, and pointless.
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Re: Eedee - "Why Do I"

Postby Eedee » Sep 24th, '11, 18:17

^ alright thanks! That helps :) I'll redo that shit. Sorry about the chorus! I did relisten and no joke ... I cringed. But seriously though. Thanks! Criticism can only improve the track.
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Re: Eedee - "Why Do I"

Postby Kez » Sep 25th, '11, 01:56

You really sound like Solace lmao.

Beat is meh in my opinion.

The hook just wasn't that good. I didn't enjoy it too much. The emotion wasn't there and as Solace said it needed more overlays. Also it sounded odd with those last 2 bars with nothing there. Out of place.

Your flow is pretty off as well, I can hear you rushing to try and keep up with the beat, or at least that's the impression that I get. And that resulted in you cutting out some of the words you originally wrote in the lyrics, as I listened while reading. Also the structure seemed a bit strange, and the bridge sounded a bit off-beat.

Delivery varied, on the hook it was way too weak, on the verses for the most part you had the emotion in it though so that was okay. It wasn't that clear though, some of the words weren't that clear, sometimes it was alright.

"Sucks doesn't it prick" that really reminded me of Eminem, i'm not sure why. The content was alright, not really my thing personally but you did it okay. Some of the lyrics were pretty good though, could have been much worse. I liked the bridge's wordplay as well.

So yeah overall, it was alright, nothin I would really replay but not awful.

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Re: Eedee - "Why Do I"

Postby Eedee » Sep 25th, '11, 05:49

Chairman, THANK YOU SO MUCH!! That helps me so much, I really appreciate your feedback! :y:
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Re: Eedee - "Why Do I"

Postby Nick. Y » Sep 26th, '11, 18:12

got to work on your delivery homie, lyrics ain't bad at all, but i guess the structure is a lil messed up, so flow's not very tight at some places. I also noticed, like you lacked motivation and emotion at some places, but there were also moments, where you exaggerated emotion too much, so i felt some kind of disbalance.
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