4AM Verse

[JamaicanPattlez]

Going back and editing can really help rhyming. For example, instead of:

No imagination to kill the pain I'm facing

You can change it to:

No imagination to stop facades I'm facing

Changed from a 3 syllable multi to a 5 syllable multi with one simple word change. And as Mr.DGAF, read the dictionary. Fuck, read any book, and your vocabulary will improve.

Hmm... that's a good point. Nice edit. I do need to get on my reading game. Dictionaries are just hard to sit down and read, but I do read it from time to time.

[Innovation]

This was funny, and had some great, unique vocabulary and rhyme schemes that make me say "oh i wish i thought of that".

Like mentioning Casey Anthony and things like that haha.

Dope stuff man. Although I feel like you bit Hopsin (on purpose or not) with Tyler the Creator / pile up the anger

You used a very similar wording to it, but it's cool. I bit 25 To Life by accident once haha.

On something I was messing around with I accidentally bit Underground haha. Funny how it happens.

Great verse as always JP. I'm looking forward to your drops on the EP we're doing!

[Man1x]

Thanks you guys! My biggest issue is my rhyming and limited word choice. Any ideas on how to fix that?

Basically read the dictionary homie, I did that back in summer 2009 Not the whole thing, but good portions of it. I even started writing it out last year lol

Then again, someone like me is absolutely addicted to variation of words so it might be difficult to tame yourself for a moment to read, like you said earlier lol

I tried this night. I didn't get past the first page because of words like abaca and aardvark....these words piss me off

[JamaicanPattlez]

Thanks you guys! My biggest issue is my rhyming and limited word choice. Any ideas on how to fix that?

Basically read the dictionary homie, I did that back in summer 2009 Not the whole thing, but good portions of it. I even started writing it out last year lol

Then again, someone like me is absolutely addicted to variation of words so it might be difficult to tame yourself for a moment to read, like you said earlier lol

Maaan... lol, I think I'll try to do that. I'll improve my freestyling too, because I can't rhyme for shit.

[Words]

Really funny piece , liked the flow too (If I'm reading it right). If you can do this shit while you're sleep deprived I'd be cool to see what you can do when it's not 4AM.

You're asleep now- imagine if you wake!

[JamaicanPattlez]

Really funny piece , liked the flow too (If I'm reading it right). If you can do this shit while you're sleep deprived I'd be cool to see what you can do when it's not 4AM.

You're asleep now- imagine if you wake!

I'm teared bitch, I'll never taste the canvas,
Could never be no damn wuss or pussy, never mushy, so you can't squish...

Hahaha, but thank you! Yeah, it's a miracle I made something decent way past the devil hour. The Casey Anthony line came literally out of nowhere. I think 4AM's where most of my outrageous yet creative thoughts come out, or at least late at night lol. Lack of sleep = mind thinking up the weirdest bullshit. Haha. But yeah!

[Words]

Just put something up, return feed? viewtopic.php?f=24&t=129261
Never mind you beat me to it!

[JamaicanPattlez]

Just put something up, return feed? viewtopic.php?f=24&t=129261
Never mind you beat me to it!

I work pretty quickly when I want to lmao! Some days, you'd be lucky to get responses from me.

...Okay not really, but I'm just hella slow with things.