Summer jotting

[Just Silver]

viewtopic.php?f=24&t=126221&p=1759807#p1759807 - feedback

*Dr khan is my eye doctor*

Just an old random piece i had saved feed would be nice


I kill all in “contact” and I haven’t even been to dr khans yet
Fuck with me that’s a long bet, im a strong vet they just farfetched
So regard-less whose the tar-get shoot and arms get
Fucking Hotter than ever much smarter than clever get colder
Scarf in the winter … far from from a winner but im playin to win it
Stayin positions with brick getters but got a brick never
Through my endeavors I end forever this cheddar
But if I do better I make a berretta getter get wetter
With any weapon I shread up like mini wheats
Come up on your porch with a mask sayin trick or treat
Be slick or sweet cause a riot and a bigger beef
Shits discreet leave you for the wolves like a shitty team
Pitty me.. no rather not rather get caught by the damn cops
Show up in a damn concrete box ..thinkin how my songs should rock
Or should I just make you holy make the altar pop …“cross me” bitch your out your mop
Out the bucket end of discussion aint even a subject im above it
It aint nothin

[JamaicanPattlez]

Hmm... I like the content, but it could be better. I like it though, good job.

[mdemaz]

Looks pretty cool, the content seemed pretty random for me though...Absence of metaphors unless I missed something..

[Just Silver]

Looks pretty cool, the content seemed pretty random for me though...Absence of metaphors unless I missed something..

i thought it was random too now that i look at it again lol but it was a keystyle for the most part

[Sam.]

Hands of on the content ,touched some different things that I liked.But mY dear friend you need to work on the Multi's front which is not needed unless you make it flow properly ,the flow on this was on & off at times which pissed me (not really but... ).

Practice brah ! that's all i can say now.

[Just Silver]

Hands of on the content ,touched some different things that I liked.But mY dear friend you need to work on the Multi's front which is not needed unless you make it flow properly ,the flow on this was on & off at times which pissed me (not really but... ).

Practice brah ! that's all i can say now.

yea good looks on the feed i got a new power cord on this laptop so im trying to put out a little more writing