First Attempt At Poetry.

[J.R.]

viewtopic.php?f=24&t=135495

Blended tortures of the body seem to be medicine to myself,
I descend to god, The streams of blood mark the End of my health..
My veins? I end them as well..there just cut strings and loose ends,
If I wanted to, I wouldn't cut to die, I'd just grab a noose then..
I can't take back the actions you've committed that are Ill-bred..
The words and metaphors of pain that you've written are Still said..
I would do anything for this B*itch back,
Moving on? That's be like getting this itch scratched..
Take the veins I've cut and stitch that..
If someone gets mad, Better be quick lad..
Because here, in my town, in my life, people get hurt,
And I steer into a depression, the Deeper it burns..

[Willy]

I don't know much about poetry, and honestly I think poetry is pretty gay. However, I would say your first 6 lines have a very poetic feel to them, then the next two you lose that, as well as the established tone of the piece. Because you have multiple veins, you can't really say "stitch that". Though readers would get the message regardless, and that's what language is about..right?

I'm not really too fond of: "Moving on? That's be like getting this itch scratched." It's pretty cliche, unless the whole piece is a metaphor for drug addiction, which I didn't get from it.

You obviously have an understanding of multi's, and that made the flow at times more interesting and fun to read. Besides that, I don't think I have anything else to say. Interesting read

[Sam.]

I don't know much about poetry, and honestly I think poetry is pretty gay. However, I would say your first 6 lines have a very poetic feel to them, then the next two you lose that, as well as the established tone of the piece. Because you have multiple veins, you can't really say "stitch that". Though readers would get the message regardless, and that's what language is about..right?

I'm not really too fond of: "Moving on? That's be like getting this itch scratched." It's pretty cliche, unless the whole piece is a metaphor for drug addiction, which I didn't get from it.

You obviously have an understanding of multi's, and that made the flow at times more interesting and fun to read. Besides that, I don't think I have anything else to say. Interesting read

Rap is poetry and rhythm - Rakim.

[Blu]

How is this any different from a "typical rap song"?

[Willy]

I don't know much about poetry, and honestly I think poetry is pretty gay. However, I would say your first 6 lines have a very poetic feel to them, then the next two you lose that, as well as the established tone of the piece. Because you have multiple veins, you can't really say "stitch that". Though readers would get the message regardless, and that's what language is about..right?

I'm not really too fond of: "Moving on? That's be like getting this itch scratched." It's pretty cliche, unless the whole piece is a metaphor for drug addiction, which I didn't get from it.

You obviously have an understanding of multi's, and that made the flow at times more interesting and fun to read. Besides that, I don't think I have anything else to say. Interesting read

Rap is poetry and rhythm - Rakim.

Wow, I never thought of it like that. Damn, nice!

[J.R.]

How is this any different from a "typical rap song"?

Is this all you people are going to say?

Thanks to Mo for good feed.

Anyway, Rap and Poetry have two different feels to them.

[J.R.]

How is this any different from a "typical rap song"?

Is this all you people are going to say?

Thanks to Mo for good feed.

Anyway, Rap and Poetry have two different feels to them.

Alright then sir, what's the style of this poetry called?

It's a free Verse more or less. Why?

[Willy]

If someone says they are attempting to write poetry, I read it differently than a rap. I"m not as concerned with how it flows.. if that makes sense.

[J.R.]

aka the same thing you've been doing

Sigh.

Poetry, like Mo seems to do, I tend to read differently. It's just flow-wise easier. If you try to read it like a fast paced rap, or hell, even a slow one you'll lose the flow.

[Sam.]

I don't know much about poetry, and honestly I think poetry is pretty gay. However, I would say your first 6 lines have a very poetic feel to them, then the next two you lose that, as well as the established tone of the piece. Because you have multiple veins, you can't really say "stitch that". Though readers would get the message regardless, and that's what language is about..right?

I'm not really too fond of: "Moving on? That's be like getting this itch scratched." It's pretty cliche, unless the whole piece is a metaphor for drug addiction, which I didn't get from it.

You obviously have an understanding of multi's, and that made the flow at times more interesting and fun to read. Besides that, I don't think I have anything else to say. Interesting read

Rap is poetry and rhythm - Rakim.

Wow, I never thought of it like that. Damn, nice!

Tupac,Sadistik,....Eminem are well know poets, plus they are Rappers too.

[Willy]

Yes, we've established that Rap is poetry...

but..

is all poetry rap?

[J.R.]

Yes, we've established that Rap is poetry...

but..

is all poetry rap?

No because not all poetry rhymes.

[Sam.]

Yes, we've established that Rap is poetry...

but..

is all poetry rap?

No. Poetry is a rich and varied thing, it has various Rhyme Scheme's that can't be easily put in Raps like "ABAB".