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Chaos Theory - Fall Asleep

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Re: Chaos Theory - Fall Asleep

Postby Solace » Nov 30th, '11, 03:46

The track you just sent me is dope...Joel Turner. I'll have to look him up.
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Re: Chaos Theory - Fall Asleep

Postby Kez » Dec 6th, '11, 05:21

You clearly have confidence in your shit, the beginning of the song is well-executed and makes a good change from just "slow dark piano intro" like every other "horrorcore" kind of song.

I like how you stop it getting completely dark lyrically, which might get a bit stale, the "rap till i'm sixty" was a nice little humorous addition.

I like how you made the hook fit the beat as well, with the "back, back, back".

There is nothing to really criticise. You know what you're doing.

Second guy sounds real good if he only started like 2 months ago. I assume you helped him out a lot. I could understand his verse pretty clear.

And as opposed to what Sam said I thought the length was fine. The two verses said all that they needed to.
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Re: Chaos Theory - Fall Asleep

Postby Mr.Sinister » Dec 8th, '11, 05:58

Not bad at all! I prefer Frosts Verse. I'd work on more expression in both of your deliveries and tighten up your flows abit! Other than that the concept and lyrics are really good :y:
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Re: Chaos Theory - Fall Asleep

Postby Xray » Dec 8th, '11, 06:05

That was dope. It's been a while since I've heard you Solace, but your voice sounds much nicer now. Really enjoyed your verse, it was dope. I can't criticize anything bad about it cause it sounds perfect. And the hook is dope, especially the first line, sounds mad catchy, but it would of been much nicer if you did the hook like this:

Tilt my head back back back and I fall asleep,
Am I awake right now, is it all a dream?
Tilt my head back back back and I fall asleep,
Am I awake right now, is it all a dream?

Tilt my head back back back and I fall asleep,
I can hear strange voices and they're calling me...
Tilt my head back back back and I fall asleep,
Try my best but I find it really hard to speak.

Would of been nicer this way imo. And maybe have Frost do the hook back and fourth with you. Really liked the intro though, that intro bridge should of been used after the second hook and do a third verse and this would be perfect. Frost, first time I hear you but you have a similar voice to Solace, it was a dope verse. Dope track guys, but you should work on it a bit more and it would be better imo. :y:
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Re: Chaos Theory - Fall Asleep

Postby Midnight EyeZ » Dec 12th, '11, 22:19

Hmmm, it's a tough one...Being the first track I've heard of yours I thought it was dope, the lyrics were nice, the beat was nice, and this is gonna be really picky, but it's just my personal preferences...I think less echo would improve the intro, in my opinion an echo should ride the beat like the vocal would, so the echo was a bit too much...The vocal's sound a little flat, I dunno how I can explain it...Hmmm, like, not your tone of voice, the tone of voice was fine, but it sounds like the bass has been completely drained from it, maybe that was the mic or it could've been done in the mixdown, but it sounded flat to me...

Like I said just minor things which boil down to my personal preference, but overall I'd give it a 7.5/10...

Good job...

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Re: Chaos Theory - Fall Asleep

Postby Solace » Dec 13th, '11, 04:00

Kez wrote:You clearly have confidence in your shit, the beginning of the song is well-executed and makes a good change from just "slow dark piano intro" like every other "horrorcore" kind of song.

I wouldn't really consider this horrorcore, that's more so "kill you" and this doesn't really involve any of that stuff lol.

Kez wrote:I like how you stop it getting completely dark lyrically, which might get a bit stale, the "rap till i'm sixty" was a nice little humorous addition.

I like how you made the hook fit the beat as well, with the "back, back, back".

There is nothing to really criticise. You know what you're doing.

Second guy sounds real good if he only started like 2 months ago. I assume you helped him out a lot. I could understand his verse pretty clear.

And as opposed to what Sam said I thought the length was fine. The two verses said all that they needed to.

Thanks Kez. And actually, I don't help Frost at all with his work, I just asked him to write to the beat and he did.

Mr.Sinister wrote:Not bad at all! I prefer Frosts Verse. I'd work on more expression in both of your deliveries and tighten up your flows abit! Other than that the concept and lyrics are really good :y:

Thanks Mr. Sinister, welcome to TRShady. :y:

Xray wrote:That was dope. It's been a while since I've heard you Solace, but your voice sounds much nicer now. Really enjoyed your verse, it was dope. I can't criticize anything bad about it cause it sounds perfect. And the hook is dope, especially the first line, sounds mad catchy, but it would of been much nicer if you did the hook like this:

Tilt my head back back back and I fall asleep,
Am I awake right now, is it all a dream?
Tilt my head back back back and I fall asleep,
Am I awake right now, is it all a dream?

Tilt my head back back back and I fall asleep,
I can hear strange voices and they're calling me...
Tilt my head back back back and I fall asleep,
Try my best but I find it really hard to speak.

Would of been nicer this way imo. And maybe have Frost do the hook back and fourth with you. Really liked the intro though, that intro bridge should of been used after the second hook and do a third verse and this would be perfect. Frost, first time I hear you but you have a similar voice to Solace, it was a dope verse. Dope track guys, but you should work on it a bit more and it would be better imo. :y:

Thanks X, I'm glad you enjoyed hearing me after a bit. A third verse would have felt a bit redundant, we liked it as it is. I see what you're saying about the chorus, so it isn't a complete repeat but a simple change. People on this site that have heard Frost have commented saying he sounds simlar to me, so you're not the first to take note lmao. Thanks for listening bro.

Geno wrote:At this point of your "career" I'd expect you to get a little more lyrical. Your lyrics weren't bad, but they weren't amazing, you know? Not every song has to be loaded with multies though, so it's cool. I'm just saying I haven't really heard tons of syllables from you. Although you're only 16, and you're already great on the mic. I could barely write anything decent at 16, so props on that.

Hook was dope. I liked the first line most. The "back back back" part was really catchy. I'm glad you did that. Alternate chorus / outro was creative as well.

Also, I liked the "grade nine" bit. Good Canadian lingo there lmao. :smoking:

I've done like...11 recorded verses, that's far from even a career in quotation marks lol. I don't see reason to pack a song with multies. Multi-syllable rhymes don't account for lyricism, it just improves the technique and proves ability. I do 5-6 syllable multi rhymes consistently in this song while keeping to the nature so I think it's absolutely fine. I'm glad someone caught that outro/chorus sort of blend I did there. Grade 9 is Canadian lingo? Do Americans only call it uh, freshman or whatever? I had no clue lol. Thanks Geno for listening and feeding. :worship:

Midnight EyeZ wrote:Hmmm, it's a tough one...Being the first track I've heard of yours I thought it was dope, the lyrics were nice, the beat was nice, and this is gonna be really picky, but it's just my personal preferences...I think less echo would improve the intro, in my opinion an echo should ride the beat like the vocal would, so the echo was a bit too much...The vocal's sound a little flat, I dunno how I can explain it...Hmmm, like, not your tone of voice, the tone of voice was fine, but it sounds like the bass has been completely drained from it, maybe that was the mic or it could've been done in the mixdown, but it sounded flat to me...

Like I said just minor things which boil down to my personal preference, but overall I'd give it a 7.5/10...

Good job...

:y:

I'm glad you liked it. About my vocals, it's probably the mic. I use a $16.99 desktop mic, for MSN calls and shit, but I make do. I enjoyed the echo as it is, but that's completely personal preference. Much thanks for listening Midnight :y:
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Re: Chaos Theory - Fall Asleep

Postby InfectedInk » Dec 13th, '11, 04:42

First off, I love the beat. Really sets the mood off nice. I also like the intro, its effort put into things like that that make tracks that little bit better and give them an extra element. The flow on both verses had me bopping my head, you both rode the beat very nice. This is exactly the type of hip-hop I like, so I was into the whole thing. The hook was catchy as hell, something that gets stuck in your head and you want to sing along to. The only things I can see with room for improvement is I think the vocals could've been a bit more powerful, whether that's down to the mixing or the actual recording. Also at times I missed a word or two, but overall I really enjoyed this track. Looking forward to your future work!
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Re: Chaos Theory - Fall Asleep

Postby Midnight EyeZ » Dec 13th, '11, 05:02

Haha, don't worry dude, I recorded my first 2 albums on one of those Skype Mics!!! lol...
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Re: Chaos Theory - Fall Asleep

Postby Solace » Dec 24th, '11, 04:34

Thanks Infected! Damn, 2 whole albums? I'm gonna plan on getting some nice condenser before I work on a full solo tape :y:

Also, the album releases on Sunday! The material is from October and early November, so not our most recent stuff (Aside from Frost since this tape contains all of his material ever except for the promo track We Tha Shit).
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