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Spyder - For Better, For Worse

The forum for TRshady family audio songs and albums / mixtapes.

Re: Spyder - For Better, For Worse

Postby Spyder » Feb 24th, '12, 04:42

word
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Re: Spyder - For Better, For Worse

Postby B.A.D. » Feb 24th, '12, 07:45

hey man, I cheched this song the other day, just didnt had time to feed,

your quality has improved, but still needs work, the beat is too loud compared to your voice. specially on the second verse, third verse is better.

I loved the concept, reminded me a of an Eminem song, "my darling", looks like a carbon copy tbh. But its still enjoyable I guess

Your voice sounds really dope with that pitch alterting, very gangsta, you could even adopt that as your rap voice lol, your flow needs work man, sometimes you nail it beautifully but sometimes its very monotone and sounds like you are just speaking, not actually rapping. You need to go along with the beat and catch the flow.

I see that you fixed your layover problem, however on the hook the layovers are still messy

anyways, this is clearly an improvement, and yeah, keep going man, its good
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Re: Spyder - For Better, For Worse

Postby Spyder » Feb 24th, '12, 17:52

thanks for the feed bro, very much appreciated
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Re: Spyder - For Better, For Worse

Postby Ticalrecords » Feb 25th, '12, 16:21

well to me the hook sounds way off, i mean the words are dope but the delivery is lacking, gotta fix that. the lyrics themselves were pretty good, unfortunetely it comes off as a My Darling rip off, which i;m sure everyone here noted. its not bad for a remake and i like this beat better than my darling, but as far as taking the concept to the next level (idk how you would , em did it pretty fucking good im just saying) ya didn't which is why everyone is giving you sooo much grief. other than that though it was a decent enough song on the real...


mind returning the favor? viewtopic.php?f=38&t=143437
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Re: Spyder - For Better, For Worse

Postby Spyder » Feb 25th, '12, 16:47

thanks man and ill get on that soon haha
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Re: Spyder - For Better, For Worse

Postby Vettori » Feb 26th, '12, 01:09

lacked energy, production seemed a lot like eminem's older style, music box style.
umm content was similar, wasnt too standout with wordplay or flow, Chorus was plain..didnt suit it.
i condone the effort, but i probably wont be listening to it often :happy:
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Re: Spyder - For Better, For Worse

Postby Scrubz » Feb 29th, '12, 21:56

Your writing is good, flow is improving, pretty basic but fluid. Your delivery still needs to greatly improve you have little emotion and the voice is not pleasant the ears imo. You gotta mess around with the delivery on each song so you can progress you voice, its the most important thing! The hook is bad for a number of reasons. One: is you tone. Two: is your pitch. Three: your lay overs are not clean or the right pitch and lack emotion. also you need more layers.

I was in your spot not that long ago, keep practicing and take as much criticism as you can get. It will all come in time, Keep at it! :y:
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Re: Spyder - For Better, For Worse

Postby Spyder » Mar 1st, '12, 14:46

thanks for the feed man, ive re-recorded a few of my tracks and am working on my delivery so im hoping that will help
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Re: Spyder - For Better, For Worse

Postby Xray » Mar 2nd, '12, 04:04

I agree with Solace, it's completely a rip off, and not a very good one. Especially in this line "Need I remind you, “ive never met anyone like you.” Those are exact words from that song, come on bro, that was lame. Get your own material bruh. Other than that, your flow was on and off. Some lines you land on the snare, some you land idk where. And in the chorus, the way you ended it with "for better, for worse" it doesn't flow, you should of added another syllable for it to work, like for better, for the worse. Mixing was horrible but then again your equipment is fucked up so I'm not gonna say anything else about that.
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Re: Spyder - For Better, For Worse

Postby Spyder » Mar 2nd, '12, 18:19

u dont know what equipment i use lol, but gettin a new mic tomorrow so that should help
thanks for the feed tho
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Re: Spyder - For Better, For Worse

Postby Trimss » Mar 2nd, '12, 23:01

Yeah, you're not getting hated on because you're wack or anything, it's just that it's pretty much a rip off "My Darling"

It's not that bad for an amateur, but I wouldn't try to use a concept Eminem already used on an Eminem forum, because we all know it and My Darling is a pretty good song so it's hard to do better as someone who started to record.

Your flow is on most of the time, but sometimes it seems like you have some extra syllables and it doesn't really fit in the line.

Good job though, it's obviosu you're getting better. Keep droppin shit man!
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Re: Spyder - For Better, For Worse

Postby Spyder » Mar 3rd, '12, 19:36

thanks broski keep feedin as im droppin em haha

prob not gonna drop sumin for a sec so really gonna try to get the mixing and delivery down with my new mic :)
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