"odd trio" contest entry 16 bars (sean O'Friel)

[rapaddict92]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ocGxAYolEmg&feature=plcp
This is an old verse i recorded at home for some small youtube contest. let me know what you think. I'll post more recent dated tracks later on. Thanks.

FEEDBACK LINK: viewtopic.php?f=38&t=146865&p=1952911#p1952911

[TripleNineThree]

Hey man, I appreciate the fact that you left feedback for more than one track, but you still need to leave detailed feedback.

"every beat is dope. 10/10"
"nice flow. chorus was meh."

Is not valid feedback. PM me a valid link of feed and I'll re-open your thread and post feedback.

[TripleNineThree]

Beat - The beat is alright, It's nothing special. I'm not too big of a fan of it. - 6/10

Flow - Your flow was off. You got off beat a lot of the track and it ended really abruptly. It just felt off to me, work on just rapping randomly as you go through your day to up your flow - 6/10

Lyrics - Your lyrics were good. You had some decent multis but the way you flowed them made it so they didn't stand out. - 8/10

Delivery - You could also up this. I do hear some emotion but you definately need to bring it harder with your emotion

Quality - This needs upped as well. You said this is an old track so you mite have fixed this but, as far as I could tell, there was no mixing. It sounded like you just laid down main vocals and didn't do any mixing. Experiment with EQs, reverbs, compressors, etc.. to give it that fuller studio sound. Also, try layering the end of your lines and panning them to the sides so it sounds more professional. - 6/10

Overall, this was an okay track. You said it's an old track so I'm interested in hearing your newer stuff - 7/10

[Solace]

I think TripleNineThree hit the nail on the head. I think your flow wasn't completely off though, unlike him, I think it was actually alright just a little choppy. I wouldn't give this a 7/10, this is very much below average, maybe a 3.5, because really no branches of hip hop were covered in this. You can up your skill in each with just a little more practice. You sound very nasally and bored though, no excitement, it's like you're not even trying to show people you give a damn. And you definitely want to give it that flare. Really though, if you had a solid delivery, and some mixing (overlays, adlibs, EQ, compression) this wouldn't be too bad. Keep at it, I'll check up on your progress.

[rapaddict92]

^ the beat was required for the contest. i did zero mixing. recorded it in about five minutes (at home on my laptop). did because i was bored. so i wouldn't criticize that much.

[TripleNineThree]

^ the beat was required for the contest. i did zero mixing. recorded it in about five minutes (at home on my laptop). did because i was bored. so i wouldn't criticize that much.

We aren't criticizing man. The whole point of posting your feedback in the Audio Stage is for constructive feedback. If you post something that you didn't spend any time on, you're going to get a lot of constructive feedback. We are trying to help you.

[ShAdYTiLIDie]

I actually liked the beat quite a bit! I think your flow could use a little work, next track maybe try to not put so many spaces in there! Also, the rhyming is alright if you added a couple more multi syllable rhymes in there I'm sure it would help out the flow. If you want to win a contest like that, you need to spend more time working on your mixing and stuff.

[Dlovetv]

I think you need to be louder, clearer, sound passionate, you gotta make me feel like whatever youre talking about is important or else I get bored easily

[Solace]

^ the beat was required for the contest. i did zero mixing. recorded it in about five minutes (at home on my laptop). did because i was bored. so i wouldn't criticize that much.

We aren't criticizing man. The whole point of posting your feedback in the Audio Stage is for constructive feedback. If you post something that you didn't spend any time on, you're going to get a lot of constructive feedback. We are trying to help you.

Exactly this. If someone tells me they didn't try, to me it isn't my fault that you didn't try. I'm giving you all the advice I can to help you improve, because I take each track dropped seriously.

[Willy]

If you didn't try, why post it? Put yo bitch ass on the evening news!