Worst day(s) of my life

[Ubb]

This is a true story, so this really happened. This was recently, like a week ago.

You know Head & Shoulders, the shampoo right? Well I was taking a shower, and I put it on my hair. But some of the shampoo got of my hair, and landed on the top of my penis. And the shampoo got inside my pee hole. It started to burn inside my dick and it hurt like crazy. I tried to piss it out, i pee'd very, very little (not much at all), and it burned, It literally felt like pissing fire. I screamed loud, and I forced myself to continue pissing because I wanted to get the shampoo out.

My dad heard me yelling, and this is what he heard:
"*Pee a little* FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK, *pee* HOLY FUCKING MACARONI, *pee* SON OF A BITCH"
And then my dad said: What are you doing?
"I'm taking a piss, leave me alone!"

Pissing, obviously didn't work because it burned like fuck, so I tried masturbating. It hurt like shit while I was masturbating, and when I ejaculated, I thought I was going to die, because you can't stop ejaculating and it comes out automatically, and it burns and burns and I was about to cry. I tried getting water inside my dick but that didn't work either, it just hurt more for some reason.

1 day later, I still didn't piss because it still burned. But I felt like pooping, and nothing was wrong with my ass, so I could poop without a problem, right? FUCK NO! Because when you poop, you automatically pee. And it hurts so much to cover you pee hole with your finger while you're shitting. Plus, It burned and I got piss on my hand.

I didn't pee for about 3 days. Worst day(s) of my life.

Again, this is a true story. And I decided to share this with you guys because I'm bored.

[Trimss]

Your signature adds to your post. Like, for real. Anyway I feel bad for you and felt your pain.

[Sam.]

I was sick of these shit so I tried h&S for once
tries to soak it with my dick is, when I piss and it burns

Whatever. LOL!

[the real slim shady]

I didn't pee for about 3 days then my bladder burst and it turns out i had UTI infections from the buildup

fixed

[JuNiPER]

I felt really weird reading this.

[Amaranthine]

Uhhh....sorry?

[Alex2012]

good writer, a bit too much maybe but still good.

[CrashBand]

Had a similar experience when I was younger and tried to rub one out with body wash.

Stung like a motherfucker.

[Mahmoud48]

that happened to me when i was masturbating with conditioner

[LIL_B]

that happened to me when i was masturbating with conditioner

looob

[CrashBand]

that happened to me when i was masturbating with conditioner

Yeah man, same.

It wasn't that bad though. Don't know what OP is complaining about.

[BigBoss]

How could you possibly ejaculate in a time like that?

You don't understand the power of the fap.

[Ubb]

that happened to me when i was masturbating with conditioner

Yeah man, same.

It wasn't that bad though. Don't know what OP is complaining about.

It hurt, so bad. I thought I was going to piss blood, I actually thought I had a disease. And I'm not complaining at all?

[CrashBand]

that happened to me when i was masturbating with conditioner

Yeah man, same.

It wasn't that bad though. Don't know what OP is complaining about.

It hurt, so bad. I thought I was going to piss blood, I actually thought I had a disease. And I'm not complaining at all?

Jesus Christ, don't be a fucking retard.

[PAINKILLƎR]

I laughed.

This.

Hope you're feeling better doe