The day I met Eminem

[Blu]

Now a few days ago I was kicking it with friends, riding around town on our razor scooters, trying out new tricks and hollering at the local babes. Suddenly, out of nowhere, this fresh black Escalade with 40 inch rims came out of nowhere, basically cruising down our cul-de-sac. Since my friends and I live in what an ordinary person might call a "ghetto," we decided to walk towards the luxury vehicle and see what was going on.

As we walked up to the pimped out Escalade, the passenger side window started rolling down, with an empty bottle of Diet Coke thrown out. Suddenly, I heard a voice. That voice belonged to Eminem. As the passenger door began opening, I was beginning to feel this other-worldly presence. I could hear music blasting, lyrics about being "not afraid"...when suddenly I realized that the figure was not a threat.

Just then, the figure asked me if he could see my razor scooter for a sec, and without hesitation I handed it to him. Man, this guy was unbelievable. He was practically popping wheelies at every corner, when out of nowhere he popped the longest wheelie I had ever seen, he nearly went over 300 yards! Now, my scooter was decorated with art of some the best rappers ever: Lil Wayne, Lil B, Tyga, Rick Ross. But, as the mysterious figure kept riding on, I could see the stickers slowly peeling off. Eventually, my scooter was completely clean.

When he finally came back around, our jaws were dropped. He thanked me for the scooter ride, and slapped a nice Shady Records sticker right on the front. He then asked me if I wanted to get some lunch. I accepted the offer and hopped in the back of his Escalade, leaving my friends behind but who gives a shit. As I sat in his car, I noticed something about his seats; they were made out of Red Bull cans. It was at that moment I knew who this man was. It was Eminem. It couldn't have been Slim Shady, because we all know Eminem drinks Red Bull! Or was that Marshall Mathers?

Anyways, Eminem's driver took us to a McDonald's drive-thru, and it was that moment that would change my life forever. Because I didn't want to seem like a total moocher, I just ordered two McChickens with a soda on the side. But this order, the order Mr. Mathers was about to make, was the order that showed me that Eminem is not a total tool. His order consisted of 40 Big Mac's, 30 McChicken's, 20 Crispy Snack Wraps, and 10 packs of fries. BUT, he asked for the fries to be unsalted!!!

I was stunned! "You don't seem like the type to watch his sodium intake, why order unsalted fries?!" I asked him. In response to my question, Eminem turned his head and looked deep into my eyes for a good 20 seconds. When we pulled up to the pick-up window, the McDonald's crew member handed us our food, but just as he was pulling back inside his window, Eminem asked, "Can I please have a handful of salt packets?" For a second the crew member looked baffled, as did I. Why would he order unsalted fries, only to ask for salt packets?! I could see the crew member gasping for air, unable to wrap his mind around why Eminem would make such a puzzling choice, when suddenly Eminem's driver snatched a handful and parked the car.

As I began biting into my McChicken sandwich, Eminem's eyes shifted into mine. He then explained why he specifically asked for unsalted fries. He explained to me that at McDonald's they immediately salt their fries once they're out of the fryers and under the heating lights. Sometimes these fries will sit under the lights for minutes, until they get soggy, limp, and lukewarm. That's when it all made sense to me, by asking for his fries to be left unsalted, Eminem had forced the crew members to cook a new batch of fries! Eminem had found out a way to get FRESH french fries at every visit! What a genius!

If that's not raw, then I don't know what is...

[ImANoob]

this is the first post i have actually laughed out loud at. congrats

[Fleka]

Epic.

[Kill You]

I'll give this one to Blu, he had me laughing. Was pretty funny. The McDonald's part was just

[Trimss]

Can't wait to hear that on his next album!

[Guess_Who]

I can't read this book. I will wait to the movie.

[Eedee]

I fucking died.

[classthe_king]

I didn't laugh...I don't see what was funny, at all. I would've laughed if his car seat had a mustard stain though. It was more interesting than funny.

Yeah unfunny, plus it was copied directly from KTT with Tyga replaced by Eminem

[Blu]

I didn't laugh...I don't see what was funny, at all. I would've laughed if his car seat had a mustard stain though. It was more interesting than funny.

You didn't laugh cuz you find corny stuff like seats with mustard stains funny

[LK5]

This joke is older than McDonalds