I delivered flowers around town for Valentine's today...

[Eedee]

So a buddy of mine works at a local floral shop and he's a delivery guy. It's Valentine's Day, so they're pretty slammed, so I helped deliver with him so it would get faster.

Guys... NEVER for the fucking life of you, EVER come to Fairbanks, Alaska. This place is fucking lunatic-ville. Here's a list of what shit we encountered today:

- a native midget in a wheelchair with a squeaky voice (think of the grandma from that chocolate Spongebob episode) this bitch
- I got hit on and pursued by a cougar
- A native teenager humping the shit out of an intersection light pole
- A perverted security guard (The lady the delivery was for wasn't there and I set it down on the counter until she came back and I said '"sorry that the vase might be a bit wet" and he replied "don't worry, they will be too later"... wtf. Dude had a Hitler mustache too)
- There was this dark blue Corolla that followed us for about 5 hours around town and just sat about 100 feet away from us the whole time as we stopped to deliver... Halp
- I walked in on two 20-year old girls (they were hot) having a Chewbacca-impression screaming match and immediately stopped upon noticing I was standing at the counter.
- We may or may not have delivered to the scene of a recent murder.

Holy fuck, what a day. I just felt the need to vent this. Thank you for reading. Enjoy your day/night.

[PAINKILLƎR]

I'm disappointed you didn't seduce the cougar tbh.

[Solace]

- a native midget in a wheelchair with a squeaky voice (think of the grandma from that chocolate Spongebob episode)

You rub it on your skin and it makes you live forever.

[Eedee]

^ Exactly. Shit was fucking creepy on how much she looked like her hahahaha