by EminemInsider » Jun 19th, '13, 02:42
Ways to be Hilllllarious
A. Reference a drug. If you reference any kind of drug in a sentence, this means you are uber-witty and hilarious. For instance, "X is on crack." This is an extremely witty statement that shows just how street smart and sophisticated you are. If you are talking about an object, you just have to make one small adjustment in order to retain the brilliance of drug humorz.
"Y was on acid when he made X." SEEEEE? Hilllllllarioussss.
Thomas Jefferson was on shrooms when he wrote the declaration of independence. LULZZZZ!!!111
Frank Capra was on heroin when he made It's a Wonderful Life.
Can't think of a drug? No problem. Just say the person looks high/drunk/wasted/hammered/blazed/buzzed, and you are still insanely clever.
If Michael Jordan is on a talk show, you can be really funny by saying, "MJ is strung out right now," or, "MJ's drunk in this interview. "I see MJ's back on the booze."
Even better: "MJ looks like he's trippin on acid." See what I did there? Not only did I reference a huh-larrrrrrious acid trip, because acid is the funniest drug ever and drug trips are so funny, but I said "trippin," which sounds nice and urban. It's like I'm talkin' (c wut i did dere?) in slang. You can tell by the way I type that I've done major drugs before, which makes me kewl.
Don't be afraid to tell other people about how YOU are going to get high or drunk, or that you ARE high or drunk right now. Letting us know this makes you entertaining and kewl. We all want to know what you do when you're drunk, or what you have done when you were drunk, as well as what you are doing when you are drunk. Or high. Or both.
B. Say "dat" or "dem" or "dose" before any inanimate object (s).
It's the latest internet trend, and it's so so so so so so so witty. From the makers of "dat ass" (black people) comes dat/dem...well, anything and everything.
Dat shirt Dose jeans Dat car Dat jacket Dat nightstand Dat electrostatic condenser Dose lyrics Dat melody Dem math problems Dat computer
It's KEWL.
C. Make a meme by putting something on Youtube that's from a movie or television show out of context that isn't funny WITHOUT the proper context. That makes it extra funny. For added effect, dub over it. I mean, you're so much funnier than the funny line, right? Say something vulgar. Something sexual. Throw something about drugs in there, too, because as we already established, drug references are automatically witty and funny. And yell it really loud at the top of your lungs, because yelling = funny.
"YOUUUUU! I put cocaine on my penis and inserted it into your RECTUM!!!"
"Shut up, you big gay faggot penis licker. I had an orgy with your mom and your sister last night, then 69ed your grandmother and there are cum stains all over her bed."
Automatic gem. You're a comedic genius, man.
D. Sexual humor is always funny. The more vulgar the better. Talk about orgies and genitals and reproductive fluids and different sexual positions and homosexuality and rape. You're never funnier than when you're in high school.