"That's Fucked Up!"

[sneakerheadshady]

Thats very fucked up.

[sneakerheadshady]

this thread is the greatest laugh ive had on here so far tbh

[Cinderella Stan]

My friend who raw dogged the Christian girl's poop chute has a mildly retarded little brother who raises chickens as a hobby. According to my friend, the kid spends all of his free time with the chickens. One day, homeboy caught his little brother eating chicken shit. Another time, he found him wiping jizz out of a chicken's feathers. My friends and I call the kid Hot Wingz behind his back now. This story sounds made up like that shrimp girl story, but I swear it's legit.

That's fucked up.

That's fucked up... it reminds me of a book I read, it's called Birdy and it's for a boy who wants to be a bird, he had dreams about being a little canary fucking a female canary. He also raised birds. There's a movie with Nicholas Cage too, but I haven't seen it. That's the book: http://www.amazon.com/Birdy-William-Wharton/dp/0679734120

[sneakerheadshady]

My friend who raw dogged the Christian girl's poop chute has a mildly retarded little brother who raises chickens as a hobby. According to my friend, the kid spends all of his free time with the chickens.

Up to this point I thought it was going to be a heart warming story.

Who the funk jizzes on a chicken?

mildy retarded kids

[sneakerheadshady]

My friend who raw dogged the Christian girl's poop chute has a mildly retarded little brother who raises chickens as a hobby. According to my friend, the kid spends all of his free time with the chickens.

Up to this point I thought it was going to be a heart warming story.

Who the funk jizzes on a chicken?

mildy retarded kids

[sneakerheadshady]

I wonder if he's sexually attracted to the chickens?

who isnt :heskylaugh:

[sneakerheadshady]

Hey, aren't we all into chicks? My friend's little bro just took that a little too literally.

lel. we need more stories in this joint. gonna go hit up google

[Cinderella Stan]

[sneakerheadshady]

cant find the article but at my friends high school this freshman girl (thirsty) paid a junior to give him a blow. they went into the guys bathroom and apprently the the guy was chanting demonic stuff while being blown. kids heard the noises and told the teachers, who checked it out and saw the girl on her knees and the guys legs. they like questioned the kid and stuff. the article was even more fucked up but still

thats fucked up

[sneakerheadshady]

the people on body building forums = weirdd

[sneakerheadshady]

I took an upper decker in a church once.

[sneakerheadshady]

http://jezebel.com/5664007/10-of-the-th ... -ever-read

[sneakerheadshady]

Ooh, Burn, by Melinda
Back when I was in high school, I had a bit of a run-in with a wide-barrel curling iron while I was preparing to cheer at a basketball game. I was in my parents' bathroom (the only bathroom that locked) wearing only a bra and skirt while curling my hair and I was very proud of the results I was getting until the iron got stuck in my hair. I gave the handle a jerk and the iron fell, without making a sound. Why didn't it make a sound? Because it had lodged itself in my cleavage, that's why. When I looked down to get a better view, my chin pressed down on the handle of the iron, wedging the scalding hot iron down even further.
My breasts are on the large size; in other words, there isn't a whole lot of space between them. So after a few seconds of panic, I was already starting to feel the excruciating pain as my skin sizzled. Once I regained my senses, I ripped the cord out of the socket and braced myself for the removal. Had I thought clearly, I might have considered lifting the girls apart before pulling out the iron, but after thirty minutes of heavy hairspray usage, I wasn't thinking very clearly (that's my excuse and I'm sticking to it). I wrapped both hands around the handle, closed my eyes and pulled it out as fast as I could. It should be noted that pulling a curling iron out of one's own cleavage is not like ripping off a band-aid. It is a bad, bad idea.
My parents, who had been watching a movie in the family room came running into the bathroom after having heard the the following scream coming from their bathroom: "OH FUCK MY BOOBS!"
Naturally, they were relieved yet concerned to see me kneeling on the floor, clutching a curling iron covered in skin. My mom, in true brush-it-off fashion gave me some burn cream, some band-aids and told me to tough it out.
Plastered in band-aids, throbbing in pain, and thoroughly medicated with pills from my recent oral surgery, I went to the game. Everything was fine until we got to the fight song, which required that we mock-run in place and bounce up and down. Anyone who has ever seen or been a woman knows knows exactly what happened. Thing 1 and Thing 2 bounced together violently until I felt ooze running down my stomach. My mom, from up in the bleachers, waved to get my attention and pointedly looked at my chest where a big, grayish wet mark was beginning to grow. The band-aids had filled with pus and goop since I had first placed them on and the running in place had caused the band-aids to come undone, and all the gunk that had been weeping from the wounds for the prior two hours had gushed out when the dam broke. I was mortified, but more importantly, I was in so much pain that I had to excuse myself to the bathroom and rip off the band-aids. The second lesson I learned? The only thing worse than ripping a curling iron out of your cleavage like a band-aid is ripping a band-aid off a burn.
When I finally got to the doctors, I had to explain to him exactly how I ended up with a hot iron in my cleavage, which was less than pleasant. Even less pleasant? Writing the email to my teachers explaining that I was going to be out of class so I could have plastic surgeon look at my boob burns. I still have a very faint scar on both breasts, but for the most part it's gone. I was pretty lucky considering I was using the mother of all giant curling irons and I had it on the hottest setting. If I got anything out of the experience, it was to always, always wear a shirt while curling my hair. If I got two things out of it, it was never emailing my hot history teacher about having a consultation with plastic surgeon for my boobs.

[Notalius]

Another fucked up thing. Well, the story begins like this. We had to finish a project that normally takes someone about a month. I started with that shit 3 days before the deadline. I was literally not sleeping more than 3 hours and working the whole weekend. As monday finally approached I wanted to finish it in school since we had that lesson at the end of the day. So I'm like the first in the class and working on my shit when a friend of mine enters. I'm like yo mah nigga. I realized he's in a hurry so I asked him what's up. He told me that he had to get to a "holy mass", I think it's called like that in English lol. He told me it had something to do with his religion. I think it was something called "memorial meal". He then told me that we don't have that one lesson at the end of the day but instead it's going to be at the beginning now. I knew I was fucked up so I asked him where that shit was going down without telling him that I was playing with the thought to actually go there and stay for a couple of hours. So he told me everything. After he left I waited a few seconds so he doesn't realize that I'm following him. Fast foward, we are finally there and I kinda sneak in. As I'm sitting at the opposite site of my friend, so he won't see me, a guy, I think he was something liek the priest, gives me some shit to eat. Didn't know what it was, something like bread. Doesn't matter now. After that we started singing shit and I tried to sound like them so I basically tried to lipsync.

And then it happened, my friend saw me and told the "priest" that I'm not a jehova's witness. Yes you heard it right. He wasn't catholic or some shit like that. I'll never forget what I said after that. I basically said something like "I am ! Jehova's my lord and savior". Shit was embarrassing as fuck.

But hey, atleast I had 2 more days to finish the project.

[Just Silver]

My grandmotherthat was 70yrs old married a guy in his mid 40s that did heroin