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The LOL thread!

Got a great joke, a funny video or story? All in here.

Re: The LOL thread!

Postby IBasicallyRage » Dec 7th, '13, 03:25

What do you get when you put 50 lawyers in a room with 50 lesbians?
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Re: The LOL thread!

Postby shadyblogger » Dec 7th, '13, 03:27

IBasicallyRage wrote:What do you get when you put 50 lawyers in a room with 50 lesbians?


What?
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Re: The LOL thread!

Postby IBasicallyRage » Dec 7th, '13, 03:28

shadyblogger wrote:
IBasicallyRage wrote:What do you get when you put 50 lawyers in a room with 50 lesbians?


What?

One hundred people who don't do dick.
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Re: The LOL thread!

Postby shadyblogger » Dec 7th, '13, 03:29

IBasicallyRage wrote:
shadyblogger wrote:
IBasicallyRage wrote:What do you get when you put 50 lawyers in a room with 50 lesbians?


What?

One hundred people who don't do dick.


Hardy har har
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Re: The LOL thread!

Postby IBasicallyRage » Dec 7th, '13, 03:36

Fine, here's another one Blogger.

There was this little boy about 10 years old walking down the sidewalk dragging a flattened frog on a string behind him. He walked up to a whore house and knocked on the door. When the Madam answered, she saw the little boy and asked what he wanted. He said, "I want to have sex with one of the women inside. I have the money and I'm not leaving until I do." The Madam figured, why not, so she told him to come in. Once in, she told him to pick any of the girls he liked. He asked, "Do any of the girls have any diseases?" Of course, the Madam said no. He said,"I heard all the men talking about having to get shots after making it with Amber. THAT'S the girl I want!" Since the little boy was so adamant and had the money to pay for it, the Madam told him to go to the first room on the right. He headed down the hall dragging the squashed frog behind him. Ten minutes later he came back, still dragging the frog, paid the Madam, and headed out the door. The Madam stopped him and asked, "Why did you pick the only girl in the place with a disease, instead of one of the others?" He said, "Well, if you must know, tonight when I get home, my parents are going out to a restaurant to eat, leaving me at home with my baby-sitter. After they leave, my baby-sitter will have sex with me because she just happens to be very fond of little boys. She will get the disease that I just caught. When Mom and Dad get back, Dad will take the baby-sitter home. On the way, he'll jump the baby-sitter's bones, and he'll catch the disease. Then when Dad gets home from the baby-sitters, he and Mom will go to bed and have sex, and Mom will catch it. In the morning when Dad goes to work, the Milkman will deliver the milk, have a quickie with Mom and catch the disease, and that damn mailman is the son-of-a-bi**tch who ran over my FROG!"
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Re: The LOL thread!

Postby shadyblogger » Dec 7th, '13, 03:45

IBasicallyRage wrote:Fine, here's another one Blogger.

There was this little boy about 10 years old walking down the sidewalk dragging a flattened frog on a string behind him. He walked up to a whore house and knocked on the door. When the Madam answered, she saw the little boy and asked what he wanted. He said, "I want to have sex with one of the women inside. I have the money and I'm not leaving until I do." The Madam figured, why not, so she told him to come in. Once in, she told him to pick any of the girls he liked. He asked, "Do any of the girls have any diseases?" Of course, the Madam said no. He said,"I heard all the men talking about having to get shots after making it with Amber. THAT'S the girl I want!" Since the little boy was so adamant and had the money to pay for it, the Madam told him to go to the first room on the right. He headed down the hall dragging the squashed frog behind him. Ten minutes later he came back, still dragging the frog, paid the Madam, and headed out the door. The Madam stopped him and asked, "Why did you pick the only girl in the place with a disease, instead of one of the others?" He said, "Well, if you must know, tonight when I get home, my parents are going out to a restaurant to eat, leaving me at home with my baby-sitter. After they leave, my baby-sitter will have sex with me because she just happens to be very fond of little boys. She will get the disease that I just caught. When Mom and Dad get back, Dad will take the baby-sitter home. On the way, he'll jump the baby-sitter's bones, and he'll catch the disease. Then when Dad gets home from the baby-sitters, he and Mom will go to bed and have sex, and Mom will catch it. In the morning when Dad goes to work, the Milkman will deliver the milk, have a quickie with Mom and catch the disease, and that damn mailman is the son-of-a-bi**tch who ran over my FROG!"


Haha I like this. I like the different emotions. Like in the beginning I was kind of curious and interested lol. Then I was wondering where the heck is this going? Then the final few lines just were absurdly funny to me. I think the whole frog thing made it interesting from the beginning. I liked it.
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Re: The LOL thread!

Postby IBasicallyRage » Dec 7th, '13, 03:46

shadyblogger wrote:
IBasicallyRage wrote:Fine, here's another one Blogger.

There was this little boy about 10 years old walking down the sidewalk dragging a flattened frog on a string behind him. He walked up to a whore house and knocked on the door. When the Madam answered, she saw the little boy and asked what he wanted. He said, "I want to have sex with one of the women inside. I have the money and I'm not leaving until I do." The Madam figured, why not, so she told him to come in. Once in, she told him to pick any of the girls he liked. He asked, "Do any of the girls have any diseases?" Of course, the Madam said no. He said,"I heard all the men talking about having to get shots after making it with Amber. THAT'S the girl I want!" Since the little boy was so adamant and had the money to pay for it, the Madam told him to go to the first room on the right. He headed down the hall dragging the squashed frog behind him. Ten minutes later he came back, still dragging the frog, paid the Madam, and headed out the door. The Madam stopped him and asked, "Why did you pick the only girl in the place with a disease, instead of one of the others?" He said, "Well, if you must know, tonight when I get home, my parents are going out to a restaurant to eat, leaving me at home with my baby-sitter. After they leave, my baby-sitter will have sex with me because she just happens to be very fond of little boys. She will get the disease that I just caught. When Mom and Dad get back, Dad will take the baby-sitter home. On the way, he'll jump the baby-sitter's bones, and he'll catch the disease. Then when Dad gets home from the baby-sitters, he and Mom will go to bed and have sex, and Mom will catch it. In the morning when Dad goes to work, the Milkman will deliver the milk, have a quickie with Mom and catch the disease, and that damn mailman is the son-of-a-bi**tch who ran over my FROG!"


Haha I like this. I like the different emotions. Like in the beginning I was kind of curious and interested lol. Then I was wondering where the heck is this going? Then the final few lines just were absurdly funny to me. I think the whole frog thing made it interesting from the beginning. I liked it.

Lmfao :y:
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Re: The LOL thread!

Postby Shpongle » Dec 7th, '13, 12:26

:laughing: good ones everyone :8)

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Re: The LOL thread!

Postby IBasicallyRage » Dec 7th, '13, 14:53

Thanks man, here's another one:

A guy walks into a sperm donor bank wearing a ski mask and holding a gun. He goes up to the nurse and demands her to open the sperm bank vault. She says "But sir, its just a sperm bank!", "I don't care, open it now!!!" he replies. So she opens the door to the vault and inside are all the sperm samples. The guy says "Take one of those sperm samples and drink it!", she looks at him "BUT, they are sperm samples???" , "DO IT!". So the nurse sucks it back. "That one there, drink that one as well.", so the nurse drinks that one as well. Finally after 4 samples the man takes off his ski mask and says, "See honey - its not that hard."
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Re: The LOL thread!

Postby shadyblogger » Dec 7th, '13, 17:51

IBasicallyRage wrote:Thanks man, here's another one:

A guy walks into a sperm donor bank wearing a ski mask and holding a gun. He goes up to the nurse and demands her to open the sperm bank vault. She says "But sir, its just a sperm bank!", "I don't care, open it now!!!" he replies. So she opens the door to the vault and inside are all the sperm samples. The guy says "Take one of those sperm samples and drink it!", she looks at him "BUT, they are sperm samples???" , "DO IT!". So the nurse sucks it back. "That one there, drink that one as well.", so the nurse drinks that one as well. Finally after 4 samples the man takes off his ski mask and says, "See honey - its not that hard."


Lmao. I've heard that one before but forgot it. Thanks for the laugh bro.
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Re: The LOL thread!

Postby shadyblogger » Dec 7th, '13, 17:54

Ok here's a joke:

A penis and balls are talking. The balls say to the penis: You're so lucky. During sex, you always get to go inside the vagina and I have to stay outside. The penis responds: Trust me, it's nothing special. As a matter of fact it's terrible. I'm forced to put a bag over my head and do push ups until I throw up.
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Re: The LOL thread!

Postby sneakerheadshady » Dec 7th, '13, 17:55

IBasicallyRage wrote:Thanks man, here's another one:

A guy walks into a sperm donor bank wearing a ski mask and holding a gun. He goes up to the nurse and demands her to open the sperm bank vault. She says "But sir, its just a sperm bank!", "I don't care, open it now!!!" he replies. So she opens the door to the vault and inside are all the sperm samples. The guy says "Take one of those sperm samples and drink it!", she looks at him "BUT, they are sperm samples???" , "DO IT!". So the nurse sucks it back. "That one there, drink that one as well.", so the nurse drinks that one as well. Finally after 4 samples the man takes off his ski mask and says, "See honey - its not that hard."

:laughing:
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Re: The LOL thread!

Postby IBasicallyRage » Dec 7th, '13, 18:35

shadyblogger wrote:Ok here's a joke:

A penis and balls are talking. The balls say to the penis: You're so lucky. During sex, you always get to go inside the vagina and I have to stay outside. The penis responds: Trust me, it's nothing special. As a matter of fact it's terrible. I'm forced to put a bag over my head and do push ups until I throw up.

:laughing: Heard a similar one before
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Re: The LOL thread!

Postby IBasicallyRage » Dec 7th, '13, 18:36

Another:

The queen of England was visiting one of Canada's top hospitals, and during her tour of the floors she passed a room where a male patient was masturbating."Oh my god!", said the Queen, "That's disgraceful, what is the meaning of this???"The doctor leading the tour explains, "I'm sorry your ladyship, this man has a very serious condition where the testicles rapidly fill with semen. If he doesn't do that five times a day, they would explode and he would most likely die instantly.""Oh, I am sorry" said the Queen.On the next floor they passed a room where a young nurse was giving a patient a blow job.

"Oh my God", said the Queen, "What's happening in there?"The Doctor replied, "Same problem, better health plan."
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Re: The LOL thread!

Postby shadyblogger » Dec 7th, '13, 18:40

IBasicallyRage wrote:Another:

The queen of England was visiting one of Canada's top hospitals, and during her tour of the floors she passed a room where a male patient was masturbating."Oh my god!", said the Queen, "That's disgraceful, what is the meaning of this???"The doctor leading the tour explains, "I'm sorry your ladyship, this man has a very serious condition where the testicles rapidly fill with semen. If he doesn't do that five times a day, they would explode and he would most likely die instantly.""Oh, I am sorry" said the Queen.On the next floor they passed a room where a young nurse was giving a patient a blow job.

"Oh my God", said the Queen, "What's happening in there?"The Doctor replied, "Same problem, better health plan."


Lol. I like that punchline.
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