Dumbest shit you done while drunk ?

[Fleka]

It was a saturday night. Me and my friends went out to a club. I got really drunk, started to feel sick and went out to get some air. After a few minutes out I REALLY needed to take a shit. So (I don`t know why) I went to the first house I found and rang the bell. It was aroun 3 in the morning. Some dude opened and I asked him if I can use his toilet. He asked me if I`m crazy and told me that he has a few months old baby sleepeing and that I will wake up the baby. I shook his hand and said: "congratulations on the baby and all, but I really need to use your bathroom". Then he flashed his badge and told me that he is a cop and that he has a gun. I told him that he is really rude and went. I went to this bar, and locked myself in the bathroom, took a shit, fell asleep. The owner woke me up in the morning and took me home.

[Just Silver]

I've never done something stupid while drunk tbh besides bitch about stupid shit

[cement]

nothing really stupid just puking

[Just Silver]

When I was younger I used to msg girls on fb randomly

But it never turned out horribly probably because I didn't care lol

[SajN]

A year old thread, but it's Backstage, so I think that's fine. Idk, but anyway:

Las Vegas summer 2013.

C-Riz, two others we met the day before were at a club and partying. Had our own table and girls surrounding us and shit. I drank way too much and got pretty drunk, so I decided to call it quits and just go back to the hotel. One strip club promoter was outside the club and he asked me if I wanted to go to a strip club with free ride and entry. I first said no couple times, but of course he kept trying. Then I said yes. I don't remember the ride till that strip club, except that I was in a big car with several other people he managed to bring along.

From what I can remember, that strip club looked empty and no one was on stage. I sat on a chair when a stripper came to me and we started talking. The manager came to me a bit later and asked if I wanted champagne and a room, but I think I misunderstood her, and thought she asked only about the champagne. I gave her my credit card and she left, and a minute later returned with champagne. Then she took me and the stripper to a room with a bed and a mirror covering one wall.
The stripper told me to get naked, and I was like "Uh... totally naked? Like, without the boxer shorts?", she said yes, so I took off my clothes and suddenly I was totally nude.

So was she.

I laid down on the bed and she started to do what she is supposed to as a stripper, while I kept grabbing her nude boobs and ass. This I remember pretty well, because they were amazing, lol. We also kept drinking the champagne so I maintained my "drunk-ness".
I then asked if we were going to have sex, but she said "no, we don't do that here" (why the fuck are we naked then, I thought to myself).
Then I asked her about a blowjob, and she said only with a condom. I had a condom in my pant's backpocket sooooo... I took it out, and put it on and she started sucking me.
I didn't feel anything because it was with a condom and I was soo drunk that my penis didn't even get hard.
After 30 minutes the manager came and said the time was up and asked if I wanted more, I said "sure".
She left but came back again saying that the transaction from my credit card failed. I got up, put on my clothes, but only half way... my shirt was open so you could see my chest and stomach, and my belt wasn't fully around the pants, etc.

Tried to take out money from the ATM but it failed so I told her I am broke and left the building. Outside there were two security guards seeing my almost half naked and asked me why my belt was loose and my shirt open, and why I came out like that from the strip club.. They prolly thought I had sex with a stripper lol. I thought I was gonna get arrested for that.
They got me a cab and then I went to my hotel room. C-Riz was already there with a girl, so I just went in to the bathroom and fell asleep.

That trip to the strip club made me broke... They charged me around $500...

[SajN]

I forgot to add that the next day I realized I had forgotten to wear the socks, so they were still in that strip club lol

[StanBase]

I met Petter Northug in Malaguf (Spain) and told him he's my favorite football player.

I threw up all over my sister in law's game cube (1st time drunk)

I threw up all over the floor at my first office party when I was new.

I was challenged to put in 6 snus (that thing when Silver says "pack a lip". Google it) at once and keep them there for 30 min. Last thing I remember before passing out was fighting off people trying to help me/remove them.

I got this friend who got this rule that he never picks up the phone when I call after 6 pm. Enough said.

I've kissed one of my gay colleagues more often than I like to admit. (S/O to basedshady)

Smartest thing I've done: I used my Jedi mind tricks when I was chilling and drinking just me and two female co-workers. I eventually got to compare their boobs, which was the best day ever.

[Notalius]

Made out with a chick that was too fat when i was being wingman for a friend, he bought drinks for the rest of the night though in an attempt to help me forget :[

A good wingmen lets the homie have a good chick even if it means you have to make out with the ugly one.

[cement]

a good wingman lets that threesome happen

[Excita]

Drank a bottle of vodka + few beers and found myself next morning next to school... in another city.

[Just Silver]

I guess the more you drink the better you can make decisions when really drunk

A couple times I ate my gfs ass but it wasn't bad but I was drunk

[gutawafang]

Hugged my neighbour's maid for 5 whole minutes.

[gutawafang]

Hugged my neighbour's maid for 5 whole minutes.

Are they rich? Is she good looking?

She is good looking. The point is she smells good.

[gutawafang]

Indonesian.

I lost contact with her entirely though. Her contract ended and she has moved back to her country.

[gutawafang]

Indonesian.

I lost contact with her entirely though. Her contract ended and she has moved back to her country.

Nice, and that's unlucky. Did you talk to her a lot? Was she young or old? You should have married her

Yeah. It crossed my mind. I thought her contract wouldn't end too early cuz she told me she had another year. I can tell she likes me cuz she was the one who took the initiative on our first conversation. Oh man.