Verse of Collab

[Tash8]

hello,

this is my verse from a collab I'm doing, but before I "turn it in" I want some tips on how to improve it:

http://www.zshare.net/audio/asas-mp3-uwm.html

I know these are simple lyrics, and i did them simple because someone told me to start with simple.. I tried flowing to beat and rhyming the words to the double snare..

Thanks,
Tash8

[,-,'-{Bar}-',-,]

your flow is alot better on this keep pracitcing with simple lyrics when you master that then up into more ocmplex stuff no one is gonni hate you for flowing lol


other than that the quality/emotion/delivery prablems still exist purely becuase without a better mic you aint ever gonni be able to up your delivery and stuff


keep it up thought thats your best yet

[Tash8]

thanks for the feed, I just got my check so i'll go out looking for mics

more feed please

[,-,'-{Bar}-',-,]

^nice coz really man, a

[Tash8]

yea lol exactly... I just spend like 120 bux on cleats and i do that for fun soo yea i'm not afraid to spend some money to have fun.

[Tash8]

bump

[Tash8]

no one ??

[B.A.D.]

nah....

mayn....

rap

pm it me in acapella so I can mix it up

just a tip
--- stand a lil' more away from your mic and rap louder... propz

[Tash8]

i was like 10 inches away from the mic and i was rapping loud that my neighbors could hear but on cool edit it should up as small waves

[B.A.D.]

i was like 10 inches away from the mic and i was rapping loud that my neighbors could hear but on cool edit it should up as small waves

oh.. cool then hahaha

just write again a 16bar shit and Rap it!!

then send it to me acapella... don't show it to anybody yet

[Tash8]

aite, i'll do it thursday or this weekend man, cause i got football shit 2morrow