*waits for the song to start*... oh it's not the new song
first about the remix, the Rakim acapella I used was pretty wack (quality wise), the kick from the original beat was still there

lol, so I didn't worry too much about quality

I just did the remix for fun, cause Rakim's acapella are hard to find
and the new song is quite good Bar, seriously I was feeling it... the hook was nice, it was your usual structure, but I know that you're aware of that lol... for your LP, just try to keep in mind to try to have different structure for your hooks

and your verse was nice, you had good lyrics/flow and delivery... the only part that wasn't as good was near the end when you were trying to catch your breath, but with practise you'll get better to control your breath...
and random, your verse was good too... to be honest, in your first line, I thought it sounded like the "old" random ghost when you had problem controlling your voice, but it was just for the first line, after that it was better... good lyrics and flow...
nice job guys
