SilverMics Cypher - Feed Please

[Tash8]

Hello

Constructive Criticism Please.

Listen:
http://www.zshare.net/audio/3138411eed085b/ - Featuring: AcidTongue, LuxFlowz, Phantom, Tash8

Lyrics:
I'm the silver king beheading all shady mics
killing my lady tikes like king henry's lady wives
my acid flow deteriorates anything phantom
i need money so i hold my own lyrics for ransom
yes i'm weird didn't you know i'm bizare's grandson
I'm nor black or white, motherfucker I'm just gray

Thanks,
Tash8

[Flamez]

well to me it was good tash..

[Tash8]

well to me it was good tash..

thx, anything i should do to make it better?

[CaptivatingVokalz]

Lyrics is plus
The only thing I say you could work on is putting more emotion into it. Seems like your holding back... thats the hardest thing to do in a song and as an overall artist...to reveal the passion in your voice.

[randomghost]

good job..i loved all verses ....and tash u improved alot man....keep workin u will get better everyday...and if want to collab wid me holla at me...any time

[Tash8]

Lyrics is plus
The only thing I say you could work on is putting more emotion into it. Seems like your holding back... thats the hardest thing to do in a song and as an overall artist...to reveal the passion in your voice.

thx, and idk my mic is shitty quality could that be the problem my emotion ain't comin thru? becuase i'm like fuckin screaming my heart out on this and just like putting all my energy into every take i take

and random yea man would lvoe to just hit me up with a concept just make sure it's one i'll like lol

[Tash8]

bump

[C-Game]

1st verse killed it IMO
kool job tash

so how did this work!!!

u had a good flow till da last line which kinda went off

its not kool to end a rap with non rhymin end lines unless u had a in bar transition in da last line..


wat i meant was

yes i'm weird didn't you know i'm bizare's grandson
I'm nor black or white, motherfucker I'm just gray

u cld have ended it with rhymin a word with grandson or

do a transiition in da last line

I'm nor black or white, motherfucker I'm just gray

made white rhyme with gray...

[Tash8]

thanks c-game

but someone was suposed to after me, and they would rhymed Gray but at the end no one did, so yea

thanks again

[mart85]

it was nice man, only complaint I would have is what cgame mentionned, but you explained why you did that so it's cool and yeah, your pronounciation/delivery was good, but it could always be better

[Tash8]

it was nice man, only complaint I would have is what cgame mentionned, but you explained why you did that so it's cool and yeah, your pronounciation/delivery was good, but it could always be better

thank you, and yes always could improve on my delivery and pronounciation, but i can proudly it's improved from my first song i did haha

[Xray]

DAYEm dats dope cypher 1st guy did great 2nd guy sucked phantom was dope as fuck on it and ur verse was pretty dope too and yo tash get a new mic man ur mic is killing youre style ur verses and quality..
by the way ima check out this forum silver mics aye *makes a rar file full of songs and gets ready to upload and than post the link*