Apoc- UPDATED - check latest post- leave feed

[Block]

Ok, made this to mess around with CEP2 editing.. I really wanna get a sick hook on this and re-record it with a nice mic/some good equip.

You can be harsh on the critique, please do.. I strive off getting better. I know it's off-flow in some spots, and I basically know what I've done wrong here, but as I said I didn't record it to be 'great'.. I recorded it just to mess around with CEP.. Tell me what you think tho?

http://www.soundclick.com/siinide

Click 'Apocolypse freestyle' - It's not really a freestyle, but whatever..



my pen breeds destruction, of apocolyptic proportions
descending demons from my writes, gripping and scorching
Ripping and torchering, innocent victims from porches
picture it, morbid, you've never seen sicker before it
perform an abortion, and force in, a wick in and torch it
Annihilate any signs of life that your thoughts might be forming
And fuck anyone that has taught on these grounds before me
You should pick up and leave and just stop performing
my cannibalistic sense will devour enemies
I'm like Bush in his war for oil-powered energy
And the third reicht failed, so now they're sending me
To wage war in ya minds, epidemically
But see I've strayed from the course, an indomidable force
I conquer brain waves and call it surfing the shore
While infecting young minds like getting dirt in a sore
No You don't count as vets, cuz you were hurt in the war
As I'm burning ya core, it's no fiction, picture as the morticians
Drag bodies off the fields with limbs hanging and more missing
Watch as the gore glistens, off, the severed throats of the poor victims
It's a grousem thought, you can't just ignore, listen
SiiNiDE explore physics, and I adorn fission
Chemically split cells, leave axis of your core twisted

[Block]

Thanks man, the feeds is REALLY appreciated. I know the quality sucks, lol.

Anyone got suggestions on how to make a shit mic sound better?

[,-,'-{Bar}-',-,]

You can be harsh on the critique, please do..

you give me a licence to kill, then imma shoot lol

lyrics are awesome cant say nothing bad about them

flow, you said it yourself n imma re-say it, you go off some times, but even when your on its a repetitive choppy-ish style, the beat is also a very simple repetetive beat that creates a easy flow itself. Delivery wise i actually thought it was good although hard to hear coz of quality and bad mixing, im not going to knock you on that coz i think if it was mixed the delivery would have been decent, although it sound a little drab at some times. you aint really a recording like guy n i dunno how many times you recorded but this is pretty decent.

you just got to record more and your flow and delivery will get nailed sooner or later so just keep recording and you'll get it

also dont put the word "freestyle" in any sort of track that isnt a freestyle, its mis-leading and it just looks as if your tryna take credit for a killer freestyle when it aint a freestyle

[Block]

Thanks for the feed. I just called it that cause it was only recorded once, but stated it wasn't really a free, lol.

[°[~CHR!$~]°]

aite u got flow and lyrics are dope....and just keep in mind wut bar said about delievery...
practise practise practise.....
flow is choppy from time to time...but it gets better with practise no worries

about making a shit mic sound better....get a soundcard...i ebay-ed my new one gaaangsta
haha
keep it up

[Tash8]

ehh, ur quality wasn't bad when i mixed the ax-d thing, i think it's just your mixingthat's bad.

[B.A.D.]

ehh, ur quality wasn't bad when i mixed the ax-d thing, i think it's just your mixingthat's bad.

the ax-d thing?? wtf??

--------------------------------------

anyways:

the quality is not bad cuz you can understand what it says, just the delivery needs work, you need to give up your emotion and kill it, feel it.... you feel me... shout lol (well no) but yeah... Feel it

the lyrics are amazing, I can tell you you really made my eyes go nuts on that words, amazing lyrics

the beat doesn't fits it, but still good to rap on it

like I said, you are ready to go next lever, the flow is not bad at all for me (except the last 2 lines), but just gotta work on the delivery.... feel the rhymes as you speak em, cuz this is murda

[Tash8]

the audio battle you guys had.

[Block]

Thanks alot for the feed, everyone. I'm really taking what ya'll say and tryna work on it..

Tash, you may be right. But my mic is still shit, lol.

[Phantom]

wow, those lyrics are so fuckin impressive...

really tho, your writing with passion and your rappin like you dont give a fuck. you need aggression in your tone because your lyrics are agressive as fuck. once you get your flow n emotion down, i dont see anyone in your vicinity man, nobodys fuckin wit your lyrics so work on your flow and mic presence and you will kill everyone

[Block]

Thanks alot, man. Everyone's saying that so I really gotta work on that.

[Block]

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default ... ID=6088470


The vocals are low, i suck at mixing... but is it better?