Funniest Verses , Lines ?

[albumbase11]

Who's arm is this?
I must have cut it off at the pharmacist
Who refused to renew my seventh presciption of Darvecets
I'm the old man who lives upstairs and starves his pets
And never leaves his house 'cause he thinks his car's possessed
I hate my life
That's why I degrade my wife
Grabbed a paper plate to make a sandwich,and just ate the knife

[dbeauluvswomen]

"Product of espionage, piss drunk off Pepsi and Scotch/ sticking my fuckin foot up a lesbians crotch while pedestrians watch"

"If I'm elected for ten terms, I'm renewing the staff after the inaugurals and hiring all girls as interns"

"Ran in the ladies room naked in a blanket at the banquet and started to spank it"

"The slut gave me a truck when I turned sixteen, I went to start it and it screamed, "Please fix me!"

"Broke the rubber, busted a nut up in your mother, so how you feel about having another little brother?"

"Brain implants, and they say there's a slim chance I won't stay the same cuz I traded brains with a chimpanz"

[Kez]

He has many

Who Knew strikes me as some of his most witty stuff.

[SayGoodbyeHollywood]

"Walked in the strip club, had my jacket zipped up
Flashed the bartender, then stuck my dick in the tip cup"

[Evil Genius]

lmao guys xD!!
good lines lol
more!

[DrRapid]

All the song "My Fault", it's so funny. Specially the last verse for me but I also like the other two.

These are the lyrics:

I went to John's rave with Ron and Dave
And met a new wave blonde babe with half of her head shaved(whistle)
A nurse aid who came to get laid and tied up
with first aid tape and raped on the first date
Susan -- an ex-heroin addict who just stopped usin
who love booze and alternative music (Whattup?)
Told me she was goin back into usin again (Nah!)
I said, "Wait, first try this hallucinogen
It's better than heroin, Henn, the booze or the gin
C'mere, let's go in here" *knocks on the door*
"Who's in the den?"
[R] "It's me and Kelly!"
"My bad, (sorry) let's try another room"
[S] I don't trust you!
"Shut up slut! Chew up this mushroom
This'll help you get in touch with your roots
We'll get barefoot, buttnaked, and run in the woods
[S] Oh hell, I might as well try em this partys so drag
oh dag i didnt mean for you to eat the whole bag(Huh?!)

Chorus

Yo Sue
[S] Get away from me I dont know you
Oh shoo she's tripping
[S] I need to go puke
I wasn't trying to turn this into something major
I just wanted to make you appreciate nature
Susan, stop crying I dont hate ya
The world's not against you, I'm sorry your father raped ya
So what you had your little coochie in your dad's mouth
That aint no reason to start wiggin and spaz out
She said [S] Help me, I think I'm having a seizure
I said I'm high too bitch, quit grabbing my t-shirt (let go)
Will you calm down, your starting to scare me. She said
[S] I'm 26 years old and I'm not married,
I dont even have any kids and I cant cook.
I'm over here Sue, your talking to the plant look
We need to get to a hospital before its too late
Cuz I never see no one eat as many shrooms as you ate

CHORUS

Susan (wait) where you going, you better be careful
[S] Leave me alone dad, I'm sick of getting my hair pulled
I'm not your dad, quit trying to swallow your tongue
Want some gum, put down the scissors before you do something dumb
I'll be right back, just chill baby please
I gotta go find Dave, hes the one who gave me these
John where's Dave at before I bash you
[J] Hes in the bathroom, I think hes taking a crap dude
Dave pull up your pants, we need an ambulance
There's a girl upstairs talking to plants, chopping her hair off
And theres only two days left of spring break,
how long does it take for these things to wear off?
[D] Well it depends on how many you had
I took 3, she eat the other 22 caps
Now shes upstairs crying out her eyeballs, drinking lysol
[D] Shes gonna die dude
I know and its my fault (My God!)

[LAdyxShAde]

All the song "My Fault", it's so funny. Specially the last verse for me but I also like the other two.

These are the lyrics:

I went to John's rave with Ron and Dave
And met a new wave blonde babe with half of her head shaved(whistle)
A nurse aid who came to get laid and tied up
with first aid tape and raped on the first date
Susan -- an ex-heroin addict who just stopped usin
who love booze and alternative music (Whattup?)
Told me she was goin back into usin again (Nah!)
I said, "Wait, first try this hallucinogen
It's better than heroin, Henn, the booze or the gin
C'mere, let's go in here" *knocks on the door*
"Who's in the den?"
[R] "It's me and Kelly!"
"My bad, (sorry) let's try another room"
[S] I don't trust you!
"Shut up slut! Chew up this mushroom
This'll help you get in touch with your roots
We'll get barefoot, buttnaked, and run in the woods
[S] Oh hell, I might as well try em this partys so drag
oh dag i didnt mean for you to eat the whole bag(Huh?!)

Chorus

Yo Sue
[S] Get away from me I dont know you
Oh shoo she's tripping
[S] I need to go puke
I wasn't trying to turn this into something major
I just wanted to make you appreciate nature
Susan, stop crying I dont hate ya
The world's not against you, I'm sorry your father raped ya
So what you had your little coochie in your dad's mouth
That aint no reason to start ***** and spaz out
She said [S] Help me, I think I'm having a seizure
I said I'm high too bitch, quit grabbing my t-shirt (let go)
Will you calm down, your starting to scare me. She said
[S] I'm 26 years old and I'm not married,
I dont even have any kids and I cant cook.
I'm over here Sue, your talking to the plant look
We need to get to a hospital before its too late
Cuz I never see no one eat as many shrooms as you ate

CHORUS

Susan (wait) where you going, you better be careful
[S] Leave me alone dad, I'm sick of getting my hair pulled
I'm not your dad, quit trying to swallow your tongue
Want some gum, put down the scissors before you do something dumb
I'll be right back, just chill baby please
I gotta go find Dave, hes the one who gave me these
John where's Dave at before I bash you
[J] Hes in the bathroom, I think hes taking a crap dude
Dave pull up your pants, we need an ambulance
There's a girl upstairs talking to plants, chopping her hair off
And theres only two days left of spring break,
how long does it take for these things to wear off?
[D] Well it depends on how many you had
I took 3, she eat the other 22 caps
Now shes upstairs crying out her eyeballs, drinking lysol
[D] Shes gonna die dude
I know and its my fault (My God!)

My Fault's chorus is a sample.
It's a 70's song I ALWAYS wanted to know the name of but can't figure it out or find.
Anyone know it?? I doubt it.
The chorus goes something like:
I never meant to make you fall in love with me
I never meant to..............................................................

When I heard it 2 years after My Fault came out. I was like cuz I realized it was a sample, BUT at the same time cuz that ish is madd funny.
Did Proof have the idea and got Em to sample that Chorus? Or did Em or someone else get the idea..
I always will wonder.

[dbeauluvswomen]

My Fault is a good, creative song with funny lyrics..but, I must say it's my least favorite on the SSLP. I always skip that track for some reason.

[Crazy Sycho]

My Fault is a good, creative song with funny lyrics..but, I must say it's my least favorite on the SSLP. I always skip that track for some reason.

it got old waaaaaay too quick

[KeeLo]

I splish splash while I'm takin a bath
Grab a handful of pills, break em in half, take em and laugh
White trash -- fuckin your wife in the ass
While you're out siphoning gas for your lawnmower to cut the grass

[M-Pyre]

I trample and stamp liars, like they were campfires
Cuz vampires right on my balls like clamp pliers
And swing on my big thingamajig
So I'm bringin my nig Proof for backup when I sing at my gig




the "bringing my nig proof" thing is funny if you ask me, cause it's almost the whole N-word

[Cwayon_Murder]

Uhh, is that from Biterphobia?

[SayGoodbyeHollywood]

The sixth letter, there's a bomb threat on our building
This crazy motherfucker's really tryin' to kill me
So I went back and read the first few letters that said
Some shit about a message you left
Oh shit! That's not a E, that's an A!
This dude wants to leave me a 'massage,' he's gay!
Right away, I'm on the phone with Dr. Dre:
"We got a bogey"
"Marshall, I'm on the way"

loll
canibitch

[dbeauluvswomen]

I trample and stamp liars, like they were campfires
Cuz vampires right on my balls like clamp pliers
And swing on my big thingamajig
So I'm bringin my nig Proof for backup when I sing at my gig




the "bringing my nig proof" thing is funny if you ask me, cause it's almost the whole N-word

lol, I remember hearing this before. What's the name of the track man?

I also like

"Got a blowjob from Paula Jones
and stuffed it so far in her mouth my balls broke both of her collarbones
Told Mya this shit was all about me-ah
Gave Alyssa Milano syphillis, mono and gonorrhea
And all three of my main girls said see-ya
Cause Brandy and Monica walked in and caught me fuckin aaliyah"

"Tipped over some cows just for a joke and a laugh
jumped up choked a giraffe snapped his neck and broke it in half"

[°[~CHR!$~]°]

guilty consience-
[Dre] wait maybe there's an explanation for this shit?
[Em] what! she tripped,felt, landed on his dick!?

...just one cant be bothered...there are too many funny lines