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Help Me Build

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Help Me Build

Postby Ka0t1c » Sep 21st, '08, 16:49

my ability of building things

really brings a billion changes brilliantly

so let me spill my beans

i am dangerous

cuz i'm still a strange, killin, mean

trained military, skilled machine

and until the day i'm well beneathe

always i'll fulfill my needs

whether rain or sleet

with my self esteem

i'll accell full steam

on terrain where hell is seen

cuz i must keep all my dreams

no one's doubting me

because now im free

to tell everybody about extremes

i took bounds n leaps

and im proud to teach

but i havent found my ease

how are we allowed to speak

if we're outta reach?
Last edited by Ka0t1c on Sep 22nd, '08, 17:24, edited 2 times in total.
oh yeah... and thanks for nothing too
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Re: Help Me Build

Postby Requiem » Sep 21st, '08, 19:06

it's alright, definitely alot of flow issues. it's a cool concept, but seems to change up every now and then, so it seems nonsensical. but i liked it :8)
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Re: Help Me Build

Postby Ka0t1c » Sep 21st, '08, 21:09

Flow Issues, where and i also don't change up anywhere, i flow it str8 thru
oh yeah... and thanks for nothing too
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Re: Help Me Build

Postby Arabian Shady » Sep 21st, '08, 21:46

sick stuff man, no flow problems watsoeva. good concept, nice plain structure
wiked :y:
ArAbIaN ShAdY


We're all on the same page, Yet we're standing apart on different lines'
So when we face rage, Ya'll fake it and let THEM commit horrific crimes
50 years & going straight, Yet this performance aint worth your time,OUR
Shit is BACKSTAGE,Cause the front page aint worth Kashmir and Palestine.
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Re: Help Me Build

Postby Requiem » Sep 21st, '08, 21:51

the line "no one doubt should be" just stands alone, doesn't go to the next one, or the one before it. :8)
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Re: Help Me Build

Postby Ka0t1c » Sep 22nd, '08, 00:38

I disagree with you Ice, this is what i mean

cuz i must keep all my dreams, not one doubt should be because now im free
oh yeah... and thanks for nothing too
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Re: Help Me Build

Postby Requiem » Sep 22nd, '08, 01:25

how about "no one doubts me, becuz now i'm free"

like i said, it's a good concept, it was just that one line that tripped me up. i guess i just didn't get its significance at first. :sweating:
i like ur style tho :8)
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Re: Help Me Build

Postby Ka0t1c » Sep 22nd, '08, 01:28

well for it to flow right, i'd right it no one's doubting me
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Re: Help Me Build

Postby Requiem » Sep 22nd, '08, 03:05

Kaotic wrote:well for it to flow right, i'd right it no one's doubting me


that works too :y:
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Re: Help Me Build

Postby Xray » Sep 22nd, '08, 09:51

great drop...the flow is ill. the vocab is dope. good shit bro loved it. except for the ending
to evolve these streets

that seem sound asleep?

^^brang the quality of the flow down
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Re: Help Me Build

Postby Ka0t1c » Sep 22nd, '08, 17:25

ok, xray, i cut those parts out now so... :sweating:
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Re: Help Me Build

Postby Emadyville » Sep 22nd, '08, 18:50

Not bad, different, I like that. Keep it up :y:

Btw glad you clarified that line, makes more sense now.
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Re: Help Me Build

Postby Solace » Sep 22nd, '08, 21:17

I liked it, i didnt notice any flow issues really. I liked your flow actually :y: i liked hte last 2 lines,
how are we allowed to speak, if were outta reach?

:y:
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Re: Help Me Build

Postby Xray » Sep 22nd, '08, 21:48

Kaotic wrote:ok, xray, i cut those parts out now so... :sweating:

yeah its better now :b:
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Re: Help Me Build

Postby Ka0t1c » Sep 24th, '08, 03:08

thanx for helpin me re-build, lol
oh yeah... and thanks for nothing too
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