First Rhymes I've ever wrote(input please!)

[Samdog2]

First thing i've ever tried to write and wouldjust like some suggestions and input please? Negative input too! thank you


I am no amateur
that I am for sure,
I'll damage your brain with these rhymes I spit,
then ill damage mine with these lines I sniff
design this shit so you can feel what I am spraying,
You'll be rewindin it so you can hear what I am sayin,
been layin in shit since I first begun, im telling you now I aint even close to done
cuz i'm runnin these lines like i'm Usain Bolt,
if you think than i'm actin insane, don't,
I wont, let you make a fool of me, soon you'll see,
that a foolish emcee isn't who ill be.
So forget jewelery this is all new to me
I cant withstand this scrutiny,
I'm in disbelief when I conceive half the crap these fools believe,
I almost heave, can hardly stand it any longer do I belong here?
This constant fear for constant years doesn't help me flaunt these tears
so taunt and jeer, haunt my career,
and see how far that takes you queers


haha didn't know what i was talkin about half the time

[Emadyville]

Damn, for first rhymes ever, that was pretty tight, you're rhymes were nice, lot of good shit in there.

[Noeezy]

you sure its ur first time? lol
not bad man.. keep it up

[enjinn]

much better than my first verse...real nice

[Samdog2]

haha ya thanks for the comments guys. This is my first one, I just have a hard time thinking of a theme or subjects to write about.

[Solace]

Yeah fuck i wish my first time was as good as that Cant wait to read other shit from you.

[Rain Matrix]

not bad at all

[Emadyville]

Yeah actually try to write something else and post it, i'm curious, cause that was sick for ur first rhymes

[Ka0t1c]

...its cool

[Samdog2]

Yeah actually try to write something else and post it, i'm curious, cause that was sick for ur first rhymes

Thanks man and i'll try to write another when I get the time and think of something.

[<Stiiccy>]

i love how first you say that those are your first rhymes ever and then in the opening line you say your no amateur

but sweet in its own way i guess

[Samdog2]

i love how first you say that those are your first rhymes ever and then in the opening line you say your no amateur

but sweet in its own way i guess

Haha ya i just wanted to rhyme those somehow and it didn't sound right to say i'm not an ametuer, that i am for sure. haha but ya you caught that