The TRshady Forum became read-only in December 2014. The 10 year history will live on, in this archive.
Continue the discussion with the new home for the Eminem and Hip Hop discussion: HipHopShelter.com.

World as I Know it

Want to share a poem, story or a moving article? Share creative literature text here.

World as I Know it

Postby Ka0t1c » Oct 5th, '08, 16:16

this world as i know it
is growin so much colder
we're closer to a war, with no warnin
our soldiers are goin forward
so the horror's not over
we're bordered on all four corners
and i'm paranoid cuz of mortars
now my motive's well motored
before us
they wanna destroy our headquarters
but my morals won't let it, no mournin
instead i'm brainstormin
up sorts of ways that the forum
may support today a reborn space at our portal
don't ignore your own or
they may, your stories, go spoiled

Kaotic's immortal and my name McCoy's still on soil
and i pray you are loyal cuz boy you'll pay Hell n boil
just stay out the door-ok, it's my court and my quarrel's
displayed with my vocals, start takin your oral


i was going to make this a chorus originally but got carried away
Last edited by Ka0t1c on Oct 5th, '08, 22:25, edited 3 times in total.
oh yeah... and thanks for nothing too
User avatar
Ka0t1c
Role Model
Role Model
 
Posts: 3919
Joined: Nov 16th, '05, 08:28
Location: Hell, Room #5150
Gender: Male

Re: World as I Know it

Postby Solace » Oct 5th, '08, 17:26

wtf? i already posted on this. whered it go? whatever.


It was good, id like to see this as like a full song. No lines that stood out for me, but it was overall good.
Image
User avatar
Solace
Bad Influence
Bad Influence
 
Posts: 19901
Joined: Apr 25th, '08, 03:12
Gender: Male

Re: World as I Know it

Postby mcZu » Oct 5th, '08, 19:53

It would have sounded great as chorus :y:
As actual verse, I dunno it has potential. You should finsih it, if it isn't finished..
Lyrics are nice, really some nice lines.
Alott of people could relate to it , even though you have your own meaning behind it :y:
So you shoul defintly make it longer, nice piece dude :b:
"Truth is limitless in its range; if you drop a 'T' and look at it in reverse, it could hurt."
- Lupe Fiasco

Follow Me!

McZu's Blog!
User avatar
mcZu
Band Leader
Band Leader
 
Posts: 7297
Joined: Jun 17th, '08, 14:21
Location: Rotterdam
Gender: Male

Re: World as I Know it

Postby enjinn » Oct 6th, '08, 20:57

i was feeling this...real nice imagery
each one teaches one
User avatar
enjinn
Trailer Trash
Trailer Trash
 
Posts: 309
Joined: Aug 28th, '08, 06:00
Location: germany
Gender: Male


Return to Creative Writing



Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users