offensive opinion - verse

[Slim Zaddy]

Once upon a time i felt like I just wanna come off with a piece of rhyme,
i felt like I’m dyin , i just wanna express what's mingling inside my mind,
All over the worldwide, no one care about me but I’m just fine at a time,
i don’t give a shit about life , i 'm gonna take my shit and abandon this strife,
They think that i don’t think wise, that's my life i don’t need anybody on my side,
don’t give me an advice , i don’t take any ,and if i do they will be on my backside,
In the mean time, I hve nothing to do but to climb ahead lookin for dimes,
I’m going to fight this damn world rights and wipe anything encountering my life flight,
I feel like I’m alright I’m going to invite new things into my life to get’s more bright,
I might so take a good sight though my love side, while I’m on my respite my felling gets tight,
I think this ain’t right to flip things on mind, despite my feeling recite i feel like I’m going upright,
There is a girl I fall love with at first sight, she attracts me till I become out of sight twice,
I was there deep inside her eyes wanting to disguise inside and never leave till I’m out of life,

i do really appreciate your feedback though

[MC Anonymous]

I like this.. Sometimes accepting other people's advice is the best thing to do. When you have multiple perspectives on what could happen, it makes the decision easier because you can see all the alternatives.

Good post!

[Slim Zaddy]

I like this.. Sometimes accepting other people's advice is the best thing to do. When you have multiple perspectives on what could happen, it makes the decision easier because you can see all the alternatives.

Good post!

well ya that's right ,, but if the one who's giving u the advice is a trustful person , here i'm talking about folks in general . but advices from best friends are to be taken .. hope that i clear my point bro, gd luck and thanks

[MC Anonymous]

I like this.. Sometimes accepting other people's advice is the best thing to do. When you have multiple perspectives on what could happen, it makes the decision easier because you can see all the alternatives.

Good post!

well ya that's right ,, but if the one who's giving u the advice is a trustful person , here i'm talking about folks in general . but advices from best friends are to be taken .. hope that i clear my point bro, gd luck and thanks

Yeah that makes more sense now. I just wanted to throw my 2cents in there ;]

[Slim Zaddy]

common guys ,, only one who had given me a feedback ,, i need your opinion buddies

[Nizar]

I like it, i've the same story. It's always like this. when you start fighting against obstacles day and night just to get on top and be the number one, people come to you just let you down and tell you that you're not supposed to be on top. man, this is life! You have to be strong in this fight and always listen to your old trustful friends. peace.....

[Slim Zaddy]

I like it, i've the same story. It's always like this. when you start fighting against obstacles day and night just to get on top and be the number one, people come to you just let you down and tell you that you're not supposed to be on top. man, this is life! You have to be strong in this fight and always listen to your old trustful friends. peace.....

glad u like it though ,, ya that's right . you have to go through all life obstacles .. to get peace .. thanks for your comment nizar .. i appreciate that bro ..

[Steve Spag]

Not bad man, had a couple lines that I liked. Flow was pretty decent, the way I was reading it anyways, sounded good to me.

All over the worldwide, no one care about me but I’m just fine at a time,
i don’t give a shit about life , i 'm gonna take my shit and abandon this strife,
They think that i don’t think wise,

^^
That's my favourite part, the lyrics are dope, and that middle line is wicked.

Keep it up!

[Slim Zaddy]

Not bad man, had a couple lines that I liked. Flow was pretty decent, the way I was reading it anyways, sounded good to me.

All over the worldwide, no one care about me but I’m just fine at a time,
i don’t give a shit about life , i 'm gonna take my shit and abandon this strife,
They think that i don’t think wise,

^^
That's my favourite part, the lyrics are dope, and that middle line is wicked.

Keep it up!

glad u like though ,,

[Arabian Shady]

Not bad man, had a couple lines that I liked. Flow was pretty decent, the way I was reading it anyways, sounded good to me.

All over the worldwide, no one care about me but I’m just fine at a time,
i don’t give a shit about life , i 'm gonna take my shit and abandon this strife,
They think that i don’t think wise,

^^
That's my favourite part, the lyrics are dope, and that middle line is wicked.

Keep it up!

glad u like though ,,

ayte here the deal
the content was okay,rhymes were decent and concept was nice, structure was messed up man
see wen ppl read a bar that long, they flow double the speed you wrote on, i mean if that is how you wanted it to be-wiked, but if not then yu need to make some changes,
another bit of advice, ALLWAYS , i repeat, ALLWAYS have a solid opening line, "once upon a time" sounds like a drag line, it sunds like a 50 year old prostitute-USED!
it was a good attempt, couple mistakes, but once taken care off its wiked
just tryin ta help man,
Peace

[Slim Zaddy]

ayte here the deal
the content was okay,rhymes were decent and concept was nice, structure was messed up man
see wen ppl read a bar that long, they flow double the speed you wrote on, i mean if that is how you wanted it to be-wiked, but if not then yu need to make some changes,
another bit of advice, ALLWAYS , i repeat, ALLWAYS have a solid opening line, "once upon a time" sounds like a drag line, it sunds like a 50 year old prostitute-USED!
it was a good attempt, couple mistakes, but once taken care off its wiked
just tryin ta help man,
Peace

well glad u like the flow ,, but i think the structure was fine except for it was a little bit long ,, well but this how i write it to rhyme though ,, talking about the opening line maybe it's kinda average cuz i dont give that attention on the opening line as i do on choosing my lyrics and the way it should flow .. .. anyway i know u was tryin to help so thanks indeed and i appreciate ur comment though ,, and i will work more on my opening lines as u have adviced me .. so gd luck man ,, hope to see u again in my new verses ..

[Solace]

Pretty decent

Not my fave drop from you, but it was alright. The flow was decent, same with rhymes and content. Structure is the only thing that made me look at it and read weird, but if you were fine with it, then its good I give this a 7.5/10 Rhymes werent like omg thats awesome but i love the concept. Peacee

[Slim Zaddy]

Pretty decent

Not my fave drop from you, but it was alright. The flow was decent, same with rhymes and content. Structure is the only thing that made me look at it and read weird, but if you were fine with it, then its good I give this a 7.5/10 Rhymes werent like omg thats awesome but i love the concept. Peacee

will u dont like the structure cuz maybe it was over rhymed i guess.. anyway i'm done with this life shit .. next time i'm try on different subject and see how i will do .. nd shadymademe thanks for your comment .. i do appreciate your opinion though ,,, gd luck bro