run bitch run - verse

[Slim Zaddy]

i just write it in quick . i was bored so i come up with it .. appreciate your feedback buddies

Someday I just get up and fall in, shit
I feel like I’m surrounded by a wall of, bricks
Every time I try to get up I just fall in, quick
Come back to the top my body full of, vim
Wearing my shoes and clothes off, go to work and, spit
I feel like the world close spots on me, i admit
I just can’t take it any more keep fucking whores then, regret
Everything’s backfiring on me that’s my world, that’s it
Going to clubs telling fellas what’s sub get out wit, debts
Going to my girl looking at me like I’m a delicious, ribs
Going nowhere gazing at da world throwing at me, threats
I get a wet vet wearing it as a skirt driving my car putting Eminem, cassette
I need abet to let me forget what I get which is marijuana, cigarette.
Don’t think I live in hate for losing my soul mate no that’s just my, fate

[Emadyville]

I liked your idea with the rhymes but the flow was a little off and some shit didn't make sense=vim?
Like I said I liked your idea with the rhymes where there's the pause then the rhyme

[Kez]

Someday I just get up and fall in, shit
I feel like I’m surrounded by a wall of, bricks
Every time I try to get up I just fall in, quick

[theJFKshow]

Someday I just get up and fall in, shit
I feel like I’m surrounded by a wall of, bricks
Every time I try to get up I just fall in, quick

[MC Anonymous]

i just write it in quick . i was bored so i come up with it .. appreciate your feedback buddies

Someday I just get up and fall in, shit
I feel like I’m surrounded by a wall of, bricks
Every time I try to get up I just fall in, quick

This is from Eminem- Rabbit Run.....

[Emadyville]

i just write it in quick . i was bored so i come up with it .. appreciate your feedback buddies

Someday I just get up and fall in, shit
I feel like I’m surrounded by a wall of, bricks
Every time I try to get up I just fall in, quick

This is from Eminem- Rabbit Run.....

Haha yeah when I read that too I was like, I'll let it slide, haha I was trying to be nice looks like everyone else didn't care

[Solace]

i just write it in quick . i was bored so i come up with it .. appreciate your feedback buddies

Someday I just get up and fall in, shit
I feel like I’m surrounded by a wall of, bricks
Every time I try to get up I just fall in, quick

This is from Eminem- Rabbit Run.....

Haha yeah when I read that too I was like, I'll let it slide, haha I was trying to be nice looks like everyone else didn't care

HES A BITER!

[Slim Zaddy]

hahahahhaha ,, ya it's true ,, the style is from run rabbit run .. But there is only one line from run rabbit run which i (feel like i'm surrounded by a wall of bricks) cuz i find it suitable to put here.. nothin else .. and if u can notice the title it's run bitch run so it look familiar to run rabbit run .. so i dont need u to tell me it's from run rabbit run cuz i did the style on purpose , actually it's obvious .. .. But not the whole song it’s just a line guys .. .. so what’s the big deal in it .. i can't find any .. And here in our forum we don’t have censorship though lol..... Anyway, i though u would like the idea though, I think sometime it’s good to imitate someone other style like I did and try to put different ideas and thoughts. Anyway gd luck

[Solace]

Its not just 1 line, its all 3 ^ And the big deal is that your not supposed to bite, even if your starting off. Like ive used an eminem line once, but that was in homage. It's not good to copy a song either, i used to do that too. You should at least change the 3 lines and the name and this piece wouldnt be bad. But to comment on it now, the flow wasnt perfect, kinda fell off to me in areas, but you probably flow it a different way. Rhymes arent great, like when you said "marijuana, cigarette" or "I'm a delicious, ribs". Keep it up tho. I dont see how your running away considering in the first half of the song you say your kinda fucked but in the last half you say you got a girlfriend who loves you and your smoking weed and its just your fate for this to happen. I dont really see the point of callin it Run Bitch Run. Anyways, 5.5/10, youve done way better before

[Slim Zaddy]

Its not just 1 line, its all 3 ^ And the big deal is that your not supposed to bite, even if your starting off. Like ive used an eminem line once, but that was in homage. It's not good to copy a song either, i used to do that too. You should at least change the 3 lines and the name and this piece wouldnt be bad. But to comment on it now, the flow wasnt perfect, kinda fell off to me in areas, but you probably flow it a different way. Rhymes arent great, like when you said "marijuana, cigarette" or "I'm a delicious, ribs". Keep it up tho. I dont see how your running away considering in the first half of the song you say your kinda fucked but in the last half you say you got a girlfriend who loves you and your smoking weed and its just your fate for this to happen. I dont really see the point of callin it Run Bitch Run. Anyways, 5.5/10, youve done way better before

lol man , i know that the title have nothin to do wit the verse. . i hve just name it like this cuz i imitate eminem style on run rabbit run so i name it run bitch run .. anyway talking about the flow it's kinda bad , i agree cuz i just make it to be rhymed at the end of the line only .. nd talking bout this verse in general i just did it in 5 min or less .. cuz i was bored .. next time i will take more time to write a good verse .. i wont rush anymore , .. and thanks man for ur comment ..

[Arabian Shady]

nah man, its this type of shit which is called wack
i've seen you write much better,bad thing tho, everything was off,originality,flow,lyricism....i mean EVERYTHING
get your shit strait man
Peace

[Xray]

Someday I just get up and fall in, shit
I feel like I’m surrounded by a wall of, bricks
Every time I try to get up I just fall in, quick

Original:

Some days I just wanna up and call it quits
I feel like I'm surrounded by a wall of bricks
Everytime I go to get up, I just fall in pits

Your fucking ridiculous, biting eminem's shit on a eminems forum AND posting it. You mentally ill or somfin?

[Slim Zaddy]

Someday I just get up and fall in, shit
I feel like I’m surrounded by a wall of, bricks
Every time I try to get up I just fall in, quick

Original:

Some days I just wanna up and call it quits
I feel like I'm surrounded by a wall of bricks
Everytime I go to get up, I just fall in pits

Your fucking ridiculous, biting eminem's shit on a eminems forum AND posting it. You mentally ill or somfin?

man i'm done wit this shit , no need to repeat the fucking shit many times .. There many people talked about it before u .. , nd dude respect yourself,, who are u to call me mentally ill . judge me , critic me i wont say anything cuz that's why we're writing here to judge each other writing out .. not to diss them and disrespect them ,, i wont say anythin bad back at ya cuz i \want to be better than ya .. peace

[Slim Zaddy]

nah man, its this type of shit which is called wack
i've seen you write much better,bad thing tho, everything was off,originality,flow,lyricism....i mean EVERYTHING
get your shit strait man
Peace

i will arabian shady ,, i appreciate your comment though ,, ya i looked at again ,, and ya u right it's bad .. next time i wont rush on anythin ... gd luck bro