Still Standin

[Ka0t1c]

i can't yield at all
instead i will stand and i'll deal with my flaws
til i'm dead for the field it does call
me to be ahead and don't fall

still i feel i have yet to heal cuz i'm well
shielded by these built up walls
they filter somehow my guilt plus my Hell
it's stealin right now my freedom, so fowl

bein a leader's about breathin no doubt
i said that i need to sprout out
not step back but rebound
i won't retreat when i'm found

my led's packed to feed 'em my rounds
cuz i set traps towards beatin 'em down
your next tracks, i read 'em, they're loud
and yes defeat's not allowed
for me, i'm too proud

[MC Anonymous]

i can't yield at all
instead i will stand and i'll deal with my flaws
til i'm dead for the field it does call
me to be ahead and don't fall

still i feel i have yet to heal cuz i'm well
shielded by these built up walls
they filter somehow my guilt plus my Hell
it steels right now my freedom, so fowl

being a leader's about breathin no doubt
i said that i need to sprout out
not step back but rebound
i won't retreat when i'm found

my led's packed to feed 'em my rounds
cuz i set traps towards beatin 'em down
your next tracks, i read 'em, they're loud
and yes defeat's not allowed
for me, i'm too proud

This poem was very good structure, emotion wise.
You could have added a more eloquent choice of words,
give it an elegance so the reader can absorb easier.
This has to be said also, you need to brush up on the grammar, it'll make it easier to read some of your pieces.
My rating, 8 . Good job!

[Ka0t1c]

thanx for reviewing this piece but what do u mean "brush up on grammar"???

[MC Anonymous]

thanx for reviewing this piece but what do u mean "brush up on grammar"???

It's really nothing, I just mentioned that to make your pieces have a more professional look.
Didn't want it to come off as rude.

[Ka0t1c]

no, it's not rude, i just wanna know where and how to fix it

[Slim Zaddy]

it's a good drop from ya .. lyrics and rhymes are just great ,. keep it up

[neversnooze]

i like simple written pieces that are easy to understand. this piece told a story about a leader never giving up, "encourages me to work harder.

very good Kaotic

[mcZu]

Liked it, have read better from you, but still great

[Ka0t1c]

thanx for letting me know what u think, i always appreciate hearing what you guys have to say about what i write it makes me feel good knowing that somebody's reading these and it helps them understand me better!