Plan a blog original (Some rhyme practice, badly needed)

[4D]

In creative writing what we hate is biting, so please plan a blog original,
'Cos we'll be watchin all a yo next audios or text, in analogue or digital,
Our battle dogs are visceral, they'll eat you alive before you dared it to bark,
Your starin at sharks who'll devour you and now are you afraid of the dark?
It's barely the start, I dearly depart any fanny planning to dare tear me apart,
It's clearly an art, you can't diss this new canvas, I'm paintin a masterpiece,
I'll take all opponents balls as tokens 'n sprawl 'em straight on da mantelpiece,
I`m Satan the battlebeast, it's fatal if at the least to become my opposition,
Succumbed by top precision all fucks get awestruck and stunned by composition,
Pride and glory fund my pompous vision, I top divisions with ease 'n dominance,
It's bleak 'n ominous, I won Battler of the "year" and I didn't even drop in this,
Some people spotted it, but this evil columnist still deserves his accolade,
'Cos my loud voicin' text has culled cowboys in Texas to perves in Adelaide.

Any feedback appreciated. I want to get back dropping verses again, so I just went with the flow on this one. No story or concept, just a bit 'o rhyming.

[MC Anonymous]

In creative writing what we hate is biting, so please plan a blog original,
'Cos we'll be watchin all a yo next audios or text, in analogue or digital,
Our battle dogs are visceral, they'll eat you alive before you dared it to bark,
Your starin at sharks who'll devour you and now are you afraid of the dark?
It's barely the start, I dearly depart any fanny planning to dare tear me apart,
It's clearly an art, you can't diss this new canvas, I'm paintin a masterpiece,
I'll take all opponents balls as tokens 'n sprawl 'em straight on da mantelpiece,
I`m Satan the battlebeast, it's fatal if at the least to become my opposition,
Succumbed by top precision all fucks get awestruck and stunned by composition,
Pride and glory fund my pompous vision, I top divisions with ease 'n dominance,
It's bleak 'n ominous, I won Battler of the "year" and I didn't even drop in this,
Some people spotted it, but this evil columnist still deserves his accolade,
'Cos my loud voicin' text has culled cowboys in Texas to perves in Adelaide.

Any feedback appreciated. I want to get back dropping verses again, so I just went with the flow on this one. No story or concept, just a bit 'o rhyming.

This was nice, the structure and flow were off in some spots, the rhymes were great! Vocab was on point. I would give this a 8/10. Great job!

[Robbie G]

That was dope. Like you said not much of a concept but the rhymes were on point.

[Ka0t1c]

they'll eat you alive before you dared it to bark,
Your starin at sharks who'll devour you and now are you afraid of the dark?
It's barely the start, I dearly depart any fanny planning to dare tear me apart,
It's clearly an art

this is my fave part, this section was well written

[4D]

Thanks for the feedback people, glad you liked it.

[4D]

Pretty sick rhymes man. I loved this piece and it's complexity. As usual, great vocab, great flow, nice structure and nice usage of words.

Thanks Maybe, nice to get your feedback on it.

Reading over it again, I think it get's a little sticky after about 7 or 8 lines, doesn't flow quite as good in these parts. But I`m very rusty right now, just needed to drop something to brush the cobwebs off.

[James R.]

4D! I like it man. Sick. I think it flows fine. The complexity and vocab are to be admired as usual and you just keep it completely 4D the whole time. There may not have been a point to this per say, but this shit was hot regardless. Keep dropping... or I'll kill myself

[mcZu]

Great, you used a wide vocab there, great rhyme pattern.
The flow is nice, even though the it's conceptless it's still great
I enjoyed readin it, keep dropping them

[4D]

Thanks for the feedback lads, much appreciated from 2 of the best. Thanks also mcZu.

[Arabian Shady]

THE KING IS IN THE BULIDING!!, daym bro if em's relapse as good as yours we aint got nuthin 2 worry about!

that was insane man, apart from bein a fan of your writing style this shit was dope, i liked the multies and the vocab, efficiently used, plus they didnt sound pressed,
sick shit man
Peace


P,S: wellcome back in this bitch

[4D]

Thanks a lot Arabian Shady, kind words!!

I'm gonna drop something new soon, have to keep the momentum going.

[Steve Spag]

That's pretty hot man. Loved the complexity of it, and the rhymes were done very nice. No real point to it, but your crazy wordplay makes up for that, haha. I never see you do drops on here, but whenever you do I always check 'em out.

Great piece though, keep 'em coming, I'd love to see some more.