Back Against the Wall (just finished moments ago)

[James R.]

Feeling very frustrated about life in general right now and I've really been using this forum as a diary damn near. You guys are getting my highs and lows. This was all one run so the chorus is probably hit or miss (as most of my choruses are). Anyways, enjoy.

[Verse 1]
Feel like I’m in a nightmare and can’t live out my dreams
Game plans without a team, I’m about to scream
I’m about my cream so I scout and beam for a house to scheme
Mother fuckers doubt my theme but I got a fuckin mouth to feed
Above minimum wage, but still my rent isn’t paid
Can write an eloquent page but life’s a delicate cage
My life’s a hell of a play, can’t afford to shop for shit
I’m as poor as authors get, but fuck the boring office shit
I watch some porn, get off, and dip cuz I’m too worn to pop a chick
Should get a normal job and shit but I’m deformed and opposite
Witnessing these whack rap impersonators gettin mine
Wish Big was alive to deter the fakers gettin signed
And while I’m cold, dying, turning blue in a crash
I’m always doin the math with taxes screwin my ass
This job is bruisin my hands, dream I was oozing the cash
There’s ballin dudes in my path while I’m barely usin my gas

[Chorus 2x]
I feel trapped, stuck with my back against the wall
And I’m workin so hard and the object is to ball
I’m writin all the rhymes just to fight against the odds
But I’m right against it all, I’ma fight until I fall

I’m waking up every day with another scattered thought
These dealers flashin rocks, I’m bout to crash the block
Got my fears stashed inside me locked up in a shattered box
Christmas is coming up but I’m scared to barely ask for sox
And it sucks I’m working at this position with no hours
And doin shit with all this precision and no power
Cover my boss’s ass and hardly hear her spill a thanks
Collectin all my tips just to nearly fill the tank
I hate rich whores with rich bastards on their arm
Don’t give a dollar tip but drive fast exotic cars
But if I was them I’d see why they can’t see all the harm
I just wanna get a house and something fancy on my mom
But at the end of the day it’s a game, remember to play
And if you got a good card come and send it my way
But all your sentiments say is I left the emptiness gray
Stuck at hell’s toll booth without a penny to pay

[Chorus 2x]

I’m working for the people I love and I care for
Waitin to be fly like I’m stuck in an airport
I’m terrified of life but there’s nothing I fear more
Than lookin in the mirror like “the fuck am I here for?”
I can’t imagine wakin up to this life every day
Look at the fortune promises like yeah whatever he say
Cuz your dreams and reality are almost never the same
I got a beast inside my soul I don’t think has ever been tame
I’m crazed in the mind rap aint paid me a dime
God gives me the machine when I pray to get signed
I feel insane to get mine in this state of a mind
I’m need to eat so I’m killin this lady takin her time
My feet are cold with no socks and holes in my shoes
I’m holdin two glocks so run the gold and the jewels
I’m sorry miss but all this is getting sold for some food
I don’t wanna hurt you, don’t meet the souls of the fools

[Chorus x4]

[yoshi]

oops you did it again James loved it. it sounded more like a poem at some point than an actual rap song, maybe because at times i feel like there are too many words in one line and it sort of ruins the rhythm. but it might be just me, since my musical/rhythm sense is deeply deprived, so yeah, i'll leave it to pros rofl
hmm.. i like the chorus, especially the first and last line, so it's not a miss this time

I hate rich whores with rich bastards on their arm
Don’t give a dollar tip but drive fast exotic cars
But if I was them I’d see why they can’t see all the harm
I just wanna get a house and something fancy on my mom

also like this part^^

wut else i can say, it's great you can put your frustration into lyrics, good ones btw.


ayo, i'm feedin again. wtf is goin on with me

[James R.]

Holy shit i have no idea! Twice so close together

And yeah the flow can be a little difficult to keep up with just because of how I delivered it when I wrote it. Thanks for the feed. I appreciate it mucho

[MC Anonymous]

Your writing never ceases to amaze me.
I enjoyed this immensely, and the way you wrote it made the verses show raw emotion.
Vocab was good, Lyrics were nice as always.
structure was lacking a little at some spots.
flow was good, as we have similar flow, I was able to follow without a problem.
Overall 8/10. Keep droppin bro!

[James R.]

Thanks man I appreciate it. And yeah the structure is defo a little off, flow may be as well lol. But I'm glad you liked it man. Thanks for the feed.

[Solace]

Dude...You always drop the illest shit 9/10 in my opinion, and the chorus was good too.

Sorry for all the bad things going on in your life, hopefully theyll fix up in a few

[James R.]

Glad you enjoyed it man. And hey it's all good man. I just needed to vent. I'm just glad you guys read this shit cuz it makes me feel like I'm actually gettin shit off my chest. And I'm gettin a 2nd job hopefully. Less time for music possibly but more money and less stress.

[lilrossy]

yeah man, this was good, i really enjoyed readin it. i thought it flowed nicely & the chorus was a hit, don't worry bout dat. lookin forward to ur next post man, keep up the good work.

[James R.]

Thanks Rossy. I appreciate the feed.

[James R.]

60 views and only 4 people commented? I'd really appreciate the feedback people

[DrRapid]

Damm this is some real good stuff, overall it's great. I'm not very good at rating so I just say Good Job!

[James R.]

Hey any feed is good to me. Trying to get serious about this rap shit, so I'm just looking for any comments. So thanks man

[Solace]

Hey any feed is good to me. Trying to get serious about this rap shit, so I'm just looking for any comments. So thanks man

Do you ever record shit? These pieces are really good, and itd be so amazing to hear that shit

[4D]

Great as usual, kinda sick of saying that. Will you please write something shitty so I can give you constructive criticism?! The second verse was the best imo, I love that last line "Stuck at hell’s toll booth without a penny to pay" pure poetry that man. The last four lines of the 3rd verse reminded me a lot of EMinem's "Rock Bottom", I think this song would be awesome on that beat.

[James R.]

^YOU'RE RIGHT! hahaha I've been trying to think why it felt familiar. That's why. Ok. Yeah I might get the instrumental and change it a bit to flow to that beat. And I'm sorry, man. I'll write something really shitty so you can give feed lol

Hey any feed is good to me. Trying to get serious about this rap shit, so I'm just looking for any comments. So thanks man

Do you ever record shit? These pieces are really good, and itd be so amazing to hear that shit

I don't have anything to record. No recording program, and most importantly no mic lol. I'm trying to save some money so I can get that stuff though. I've been hearing "you should record" for too long, so I'm taking the advice.