started a new rap

[Ka0t1c]

i wouldnt call this rap...

[MC Anonymous]

i'm gonna explain why i love you in this rap i will do my best
even though it's impossible to do that as the reasons are so endless
i wouldnt pretend this, you really are what a true friend is
i just gotta take one look at you and i know what the truth then is
cuddling up and watching movies yeah, i want to do them things
and i feel that if perfection was two things, it'd be you then me
i'll feel this way straight to the end, come on we're like two best friends
you know that when we're together there is this connection, a link
there is this flame that we ignite, a bright spark in us, it's perfection i think
you're the resurrection i need, and together we can get us complete
i know you can feel it when our eyes lock, it's like a heavy bang
this funny feeling inside you, playing over like a song already sang
a sensation as we're filled with hesitation to look away
because we both know we belong, that's why our eyes won't seem to stray
i'm here to stay and today i just pray to hear you say you agree with me
and you wanna leave with me, that you believe in me
you wanna be keeping me and you're just feeling me, healing me
from my heartbreak from before, you've got me, no one is stealing me
it's so easy to see, what you're meaning to me
so bring your half of our soul and begin sealing it to me

I would give this a 6/10 being generous. You need to find structure, a good rhyme scheme, your own style, and subject matter. You have 1 of those main components, which was subject matter. The story you told was a generic love song, converted into Rap form. You need to make up original concepts to attract the reader into your story. For what it was, it was OK, you could of had much more multies, metaphors would have been nice for a piece like this, and you could've had a more structured rhythm. Flow wasn't great, it wasn't bad either though, so good job on that. I think that's about it.

Keep practicing, you'll get better!

[James R.]

That was whack. I mean if she's not gonna care and she's just gonna blow you because you wrote her a song then cool, but this was whack as hell. Flow was awful, structure was obnoxious, extremely cheesy and uncreative, very boring to read. Sappy shit is usually whack, but it can be done if you put enough time into it. 4/10

[Solace]

Pretty much what they said^

[Kez]

i'm gonna explain why i love you in this rap i will do my best
even though it's impossible to do that as the reasons are so endless
i wouldnt pretend this, you really are what a true friend is
i just gotta take one look at you and i know what the truth then is
cuddling up and watching movies yeah, i want to do them things
and i feel that if perfection was two things, it'd be you then me
i'll feel this way straight to the end, come on we're like two best friends
you know that when we're together there is this connection, a link
there is this flame that we ignite, a bright spark in us, it's perfection i think
you're the resurrection i need, and together we can get us complete
i know you can feel it when our eyes lock, it's like a heavy bang
this funny feeling inside you, playing over like a song already sang
a sensation as we're filled with hesitation to look away
because we both know we belong, that's why our eyes won't seem to stray
i'm here to stay and today i just pray to hear you say you agree with me
and you wanna leave with me, that you believe in me
you wanna be keeping me and you're just feeling me, healing me
from my heartbreak from before, you've got me, no one is stealing me
it's so easy to see, what you're meaning to me
so bring your half of our soul and begin sealing it to me

I would give this a 6/10 being generous. You need to find structure, a good rhyme scheme, your own style, and subject matter. You have 1 of those main components, which was subject matter. The story you told was a generic love song, converted into Rap form. You need to make up original concepts to attract the reader into your story. For what it was, it was OK, you could of had much more multies, metaphors would have been nice for a piece like this, and you could've had a more structured rhythm. Flow wasn't great, it wasn't bad either though, so good job on that. I think that's about it.

Keep practicing, you'll get better!

You've earned back some lovin' from me, MC Anonymous, God bless you for saving the text

[Solace]

lol^

[MC Anonymous]

i'm gonna explain why i love you in this rap i will do my best
even though it's impossible to do that as the reasons are so endless
i wouldnt pretend this, you really are what a true friend is
i just gotta take one look at you and i know what the truth then is
cuddling up and watching movies yeah, i want to do them things
and i feel that if perfection was two things, it'd be you then me
i'll feel this way straight to the end, come on we're like two best friends
you know that when we're together there is this connection, a link
there is this flame that we ignite, a bright spark in us, it's perfection i think
you're the resurrection i need, and together we can get us complete
i know you can feel it when our eyes lock, it's like a heavy bang
this funny feeling inside you, playing over like a song already sang
a sensation as we're filled with hesitation to look away
because we both know we belong, that's why our eyes won't seem to stray
i'm here to stay and today i just pray to hear you say you agree with me
and you wanna leave with me, that you believe in me
you wanna be keeping me and you're just feeling me, healing me
from my heartbreak from before, you've got me, no one is stealing me
it's so easy to see, what you're meaning to me
so bring your half of our soul and begin sealing it to me

I would give this a 6/10 being generous. You need to find structure, a good rhyme scheme, your own style, and subject matter. You have 1 of those main components, which was subject matter. The story you told was a generic love song, converted into Rap form. You need to make up original concepts to attract the reader into your story. For what it was, it was OK, you could of had much more multies, metaphors would have been nice for a piece like this, and you could've had a more structured rhythm. Flow wasn't great, it wasn't bad either though, so good job on that. I think that's about it.

Keep practicing, you'll get better!

You've earned back some lovin' from me, MC Anonymous, God bless you for saving the text

LOL