Here a couple Christmas songs for you guys. Since it's Christmas, I'll even write up the lyrics for you. Enjoy!
Christmas Time In Hell
http://s13.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=0OHI ... TRHVF6JG3B
Well i'll tell you what..
Maybe we should have ourselves
a little christmas, right here..
C'mon everybody, gather 'round!
String up the lights and light up the trees
We're gonna make some revelry..
Spirits are high, so I can tell
It's Christmas time in hell!
Demons are nicer as you pass them by
There's lots of demon toys to buy
The snow is falling, and all is well
It's Christmas time in hell!
There goes Jeffrey Dahmer
With a festive Christmas ham..
After he has sex with it
He'll eat up all he can..
And there goes John F Kennedy
Carolling with his son..
Reunited for the holidays
God bless us, everyone!
Everybody has a happy glow
Let's dance in blood, and pretend it's snow..
Even Mao Tse Tung is under the spell
It's Christmas time in hell!
Satan: Adolf, here's a present for you!
Adolf: Oh? Ein Tannenbaum!
Satan: Yes, Ein Tannenbaum!
God cast me down from heaven's door
To rule in hell forever-more
But now i'm kinda glad that I fell
'Cos it's Christmas time in hell!
Here's a rack to hang the stockings on
We still have to shop for Genghis Khan
Michael Landon's hair looks swell
It's Christmas time in hell!
There's Princess Diana
holding burning mistletoe
Over Poor Gene Siskel's head
Just watch his weenie grow!
For one day we all stop burning
and the flames are not so thck
All the screaming and the torture stops
As we wait for old St Nick!
So, String up the lights and light up the trees
We're damned for all eternity..
But for just one day, all is well
It's Christmas time in hell!
Get a toast together and make it quick
We've gotta make room for Andy Dick..
Wake his mother and ring the bell..
It's Christmas time.. [christmas time x3]
Christmas time.. [christmas time x3]
It's Christmas time in hell!
..Merry Christmas, Movie house!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I'm A Jew
http://s13.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=098S ... MKS1G9URNI
It's hard to be a Jew on Christmas
My Friends won't let me join in any games..
And I can't sing Christmas songs
Or decorate a Christmas tree..
Or leave water out for Rudolph
cuz there's something wrong with me..
My people don't believe in Jesus Christ's divinity..
I'm a Jew, a lonely Jew.. on Christmas.
Hanukkah is nice, but why is it,
That Santa passes over my house every year?
And instead of eating Ham
I have to eat Kosher Lakish..
Instead of Silent Night
I'm singing hou-hazch-tou-gavish..
And what the fuck is up
With lighting all these fucking Candles, tell me please?
I'm a Jew, a lonely Jew..
I can't be merry, cuz i'm Hebrew.. on Christmas.
Hey Little Boy, I can't help but hear,
You're feeling left out of Christmas Cheer..
But i've come to see that you shouldn't be sad
This is the one month that you shoud be glad..
Because it's nice to be a Jew on Christmas
You don't have to deal with the season at all..
You don't have to be on your best behavior, or give to charity
You don't have to go to grandma's house with your alcoholic family..
And I don't have to sit on some fake Santa's lap
And have him breathe his stinky breath on me!
That's right! You're a Jew, a stylin' Jew..
It's a good time, to be Hebrew.. on Christmas.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Merry Fucking Christmas
http://s13.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=1VYC ... 5K63VT0KV4
I heard there is no Christmas,
In the silly Middle East..
No trees, no snow, no Santa Claus,
They have different religious beliefs...
They believe in Muhammad,
And not in our holiday...
And so every December,
I go to the Middle East and say...
Hey there Mr Muslim, Merry Fucking Christmas
Put down that book, The Koran
And hear some holiday wishes
Incase you haven't noticed,
It's Jesus's Birthday
So get off your heathen Muslim ass
And fucking celebrate.
There is no holiday season in India,
I've heard..
They don't hang up their stockings,
And that is just absurd..
They've never read a Christmas story,
They don't know what Rudolph is about...
And that's why in December,
I'll go to India and shout...
Hey there Mr Hinduist, Merry Fucking Christmas
Drink eggnog, and eat some beef
and pass it to the missus
Incase you haven't noticed,
It's Jesus's birthday
So get off your heathen Hindu ass,
And fucking celebrate.
Now I heard that in Japan,
Everyone just lives in sin...
They pray to several gods,
And put needles in their skin...
On December twenty-fifth,
all they do is eat a cake...
and that is why I'll go to Japan,
and walk around and say...
Hey there Mr Shintoist, Merry Fucking Christmas
God is gonna kick your ass You infidelic pagan scum.
Incase you haven't noticed,
There's festive things to do
So lets all rejoice for Jesus
and Merry Fucking Christmas to you.
On Christmas Day, I travel round the world and say..
Taoists, Korishnas, Buddists
and all you atheists too..
Merry Fucking Christmas to you.
Thank you, Mr Hat..
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mr.Hankey, The Christmas Poo
http://s13.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=04W3 ... 9RB4FSK0AI
We've all heard of Rudolph and his shiny nose..
And we all know frosty who's made out of snow..
But all of those stories seem kind of, Gay..
Cos we all know who brightens up our holiday..
Mr Hankey, The Christmas Poo
Small and Brown, he comes from you
Sit on the toilet, here he comes
Squeeze him tween your festive buns!
A present from down below
Speading joy with a 'howdy ho'!
He's seen the love inside of you
Cos he's a piece of poo!
Sometimes he's nutty, sometimes he's corny
He can be brown, or greenish-brown
But if you eat fibre on Christmas Eve
He might come to your town..
Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo
He loves me, I love you
Therefore vicariously, he loves you
'I can make a Mr Hankey too'!
Cartman: 'Well Kyle, where is he?'
Kyle: 'Uh, he's coming..'
Stan: 'Come on dude, Push!'
Kyle: 'I'm trying'
Cartman: 'Wait Wait! I can see his head'
Kyle: 'Here he comes..'
Mr Hankey: 'HOWDY HO!'
I'm Mr Hankey, the Christmas poo..
Seasons greetings to all of you..
Lets sing songs, and dance, and play..
Now, before I melt away..
Here's a game I like to play..
Stick me in your mouth and try to say..
'Howdy ho ho, yum yum yum
Christmas time has come!'
Sometimes he's runny, sometimes he's firm
Sometimes he practically water..
Sometimes he hangs off the end of your ass
And wont fall in the toilet,
cos he's just clinging to your sphincter
And he wont drop off, and so you shake your ass around..
And try to get it to drop in the toilet
And finally it does..
Mr Hankey the Christmas Poo
Christmas leaves, he must leave too..
Flush him down, but he's never gone,
His smell and his spirit lingers on.
Howdy ho!