Next Level(Edited)

[Samdog2]

i don't write often and would like some comments or criticism. Thanks

I know this has gotta be fast-paced
but I won't be comin in last place
i need to step it up and get these raps aced
its an arms race no shit it's a long shot
but I got an armed base and ill go for it non stop
on tops where I wanna be when my songs drop
but i got to back to my thought process
enough of this shit-i'm cutting the nonsense
cuz now im the one that's on the offense
i'm on this and theres nothing you can do to stop this
i'm blessed me with the talent that I posses
so if you're anything less than impressed it's not a success,
I do stress-i'm nowhere near the best in the game
I've just started infestin your brain
but i'm prayin that with success comes the reign
hopin that i won't be left crested in shame
and if I came out as cocky
do something to try an top me
until then theres nobody that can stop me



I'm not sure if that helped much but i tried...

[Slim Zaddy]

it's not bad , you need to fix your structure cuz it's all miss , then try useing multies and more vocab ,, but it's good for da first try.. gd job

[Samdog2]

it's not bad , you need to fix your structure cuz it's all miss , then try useing multies and more vocab ,, but it's good for da first try.. gd job

Thanks for the feedback. I dis force some sentences and stuff. And BTW it's not the first time, i just don't write often.

[Slim Zaddy]

it's not bad , you need to fix your structure cuz it's all miss , then try useing multies and more vocab ,, but it's good for da first try.. gd job

Thanks for the feedback. I dis force some sentences and stuff. And BTW it's not the first time, i just don't write often.

will i dunno for me its da first time i see you here ..

[Rain Matrix]

not bad with a little work this could be good
not that it's bad now it's just structured kind of wierd

[Solace]

Yeah fixing the structure, and then re-posting it, i think it would be 10x better. Its quite good for someone who doesnt write often, i remember reading your first pieces (you posted them here) and i was amazed at how good you were for a beginner.

[Samdog2]

Thanks for the input guys, i see what you guys mean about structuring it better so I'll try to do that when i get some time.