[NEW] Up and Down

[SajN]

Looooooong time since I wrote something here.
Here is something I just wrote, you can call it "keystyle".
It's just seven lines, I could do more, but the class is about to start (I am in school lol)



"Man this stinks, I'm having writer's block
I just can't rhyme enough, I just can't write, I suck
I need to fight this off, but I think I might just stop
I need to try the luck, and now when I type this up
I feel like my life is up , but then why the fuck,
Do I wonder, that I don't lighten up, like the thunder
The sun is down, but I still get sunburnt"


I had some better lines, but when I was typing here, I suddenly clicked "back", so those lines disappeared, and I don't remember them

The last line's got a little rushed, because I have to go to class ..

Any feed is appreciated

[Slim Zaddy]

it's good man ,, i liked it .. just make it a whole song and it will be dope ..

[James R.]

Not bad. I like some of the concepts. Flow was on point. If you don't make a song out of this those are definitely recyclable lines that you could use in some other piece if they fit. Drop more often man.

[SajN]

Thanks for checking out Z-em
I wont make a whole song out if though, but thanks again


Thank you for feeding Lil James. First time someone says that flow was on point lol.
Yeah, I will recycle the lines because I'm not going to make a whole song out of these lines.

I wish I could drop more often, but read the first line I wrote

[Ka0t1c]

very good, come back here and finish this piece, don't leave us hangin! we miss you...

[Arabian Shady]

very good, come back here and finish this piece, don't leave us hangin! we miss you...

as james said, flow was nice, rhymes were ayte for on the spot thinkin

[mcZu]

You need to finish this. It's not bad, matter of fact it's great.

[SajN]

Thanks guys


More feeds please

[neversnooze]

for something you wrote asap it was pretty good, every line and every word flowed and made sense

Damn that 'Back Button'

[MC Anonymous]

Looooooong time since I wrote something here.
Here is something I just wrote, you can call it "keystyle".
It's just seven lines, I could do more, but the class is about to start (I am in school lol)



"Man this stinks, I'm having writer's block
I just can't rhyme enough, I just can't write, I suck
I need to fight this off, but I think I might just stop
I need to try the luck, and now when I type this up
I feel like my life is up , but then why the fuck,
Do I wonder, that I don't lighten up, like the thunder
The sun is down, but I still get sunburnt"


I had some better lines, but when I was typing here, I suddenly clicked "back", so those lines disappeared, and I don't remember them

The last line's got a little rushed, because I have to go to class ..

Any feed is appreciated

For a keystyle this was above average. Flow was nice, lyrics were ok...could be better. Subject matter ='s
Write more man

[SajN]

Thanks to both

[SajN]

Bump

[Solace]

Very good for a keystyle man, nice lines and flow was good. Too bad you lost the other lines Keep it up SajN, kind of reminded me of Rabbit Run

[SajN]

Thank you
How did this remind you of Rabbit Run ?