old verse.....

[spitz2]

just showin some old shit. me n my dude colin did a song to boom by royce, so thats what this goes to...

just let the -reefer spark- fuck what the -teacher taught-/
i tear these -emcees apart- wit my -lethal thoughts-/
fuck you up seperate ya -teeth and jaw-/
forget about weed man we smoke the -leaf n bark-/
-leave the mall- with money probably a -g in all-/
hit u with this blade and make ya fuckin -breathin stall-/
-fleein wal- mart with a bunch of -stolen objects-/
-swollen pockets- from -holdin dollas- and -golden watches-/
take some pills light the blunt -back n forth we passin it-/
start throwin up more colors than -labratory accidents-/
brains a little off like theres -no safety- so -dont make me-/
just -go crazy- and -throw babies- at -old ladies-/
when im -high as curtains- bitch you can -die for certain-/
throw you up and seal you then i -light the furnace-/
after a couple blunts and im done -drinkin icehouse-/
better do like houston bitch, and -keep an eye out-/


for those that dont get the last line.....the r&b singer houston tried spoonin his eye out for some odd reason

[Ka0t1c]

i like the rhyme pattern, very nice, looks like u got some good skills which will improve even better, lookin forward to what u have got to offer us readers/writers/spitters

[spitz2]

thanks man. im kinda sorta known in my town as the white rapper.....id have more shit out but i jus cant get time to record. plus i got a "producer"...but all he does is clubby poppy lil jon type shit, and i cant do nothin with that. if i could get some help in that department here, that would be the shit

[Slim Zaddy]

yup , this is hot man , the rhymes are great and lyrics are fine , i liked the flow though , it sounds nice,, you're improving ,, keep it up

[MC Anonymous]

just showin some old shit. me n my dude colin did a song to boom by royce, so thats what this goes to...

just let the -reefer spark- fuck what the -teacher taught-/
i tear these -emcees apart- wit my -lethal thoughts-/
fuck you up seperate ya -teeth and jaw-/
forget about weed man we smoke the -leaf n bark-/
-leave the mall- with money probably a -g in all-/
hit u with this blade and make ya fuckin -breathin stall-/
-fleein wal- mart with a bunch of -stolen objects-/
-swollen pockets- from -holdin dollas- and -golden watches-/
take some pills light the blunt -back n forth we passin it-/
start throwin up more colors than -labratory accidents-/
brains a little off like theres -no safety- so -dont make me-/
just -go crazy- and -throw babies- at -old ladies-/
when im -high as curtains- bitch you can -die for certain-/
throw you up and seal you then i -light the furnace-/
after a couple blunts and im done -drinkin icehouse-/
better do like houston bitch, and -keep an eye out-/


for those that dont get the last line.....the r&b singer houston tried spoonin his eye out for some odd reason

I like this, I can see some old school Eminem multies in here. Although I do believe that the ''-example here-'' stuff should go. People should be able to flow with your multies, not stop every 2 seconds because a hyphen distracted them. Some of these were forced, while others were not. I would advise that when you write, try to add more emphasis on substance rather then just trying to impress with multies. I was impressed for the first half, being like ''Ahh we got a new fire member'' then as the drop progressed it was pretty boring because of the lack of punchlines and metaphors or similes. This is not meant to be hate, more like constructive criticism. I see promise in you and I hardly go out of my way to do stuff like this. Take it for what it's worth, and make your next drop pyro fire.

[spitz2]

yea ino what u sayin.....syllables is like make my favorite thing, so i try to use those above everything else. and the whole "blah blah -poopey poopey-/" is jus cuz that how i useda write on that cpu. its jus a habit