My Document

[survce]

What's up with all the the wrappers
Claiming I'm a word-napper
Every time I post a rhyme
It's ginuwine one of a kind
I'm not here tryin' to fly
I just want a piece-a-da-pie

[Emadyville]

Quit

[survce]

You serious? Should I throw in the towel?

[Emadyville]

Idk lets see what other people have to say. I'm saying yes tho for obvious reasons.

[survce]

Damn, lol. We'll thanks for the honesty.

Clever Cause I dug.mp3

[Ka0t1c]

so far you rap so generic, you say what most newbies would say which nobody cares to listen to, you bring nothing new to the table, yet at least. aren't you crazy or something, i mean come on don't u have talent at all, you're not even trying are u???

[Slim Zaddy]

Quit

[James R.]

Jesus guys

Ok I won't lie and say this isn't whack as fuck. But you're where a lot of people are when they first start out (assuming you just started)

You need to make your lines longer. Like 9-12 syllables long. You can keep the basic rhyming because you're just starting and that'll fuck with your mechanics until you're at least half way decent. You need to write to a beat because I can see flow being a serious problem. You need to write a longer piece. I mean this was like 4 or 6 bars and wasn't even worth posting because there's NO WAY to judge you based on this alone. When you do write a longer piece (I'm suggesting the normal 16 bar verse) then I'd STRONGLY urge you to write about something. Like actually write about something important to you. The savior of whackness is emotion and everybody has that except Keanu Reeves. Rapping about nothing is hard as shit because you have to make up for lack of content with punchlines, flow, metaphors, concepts, and a bunch of other shit you've never even smelled.

So here's your assignment: write a 16 bar verse about something at least somewhat meaningful to you to a beat with lines that are roughly 10 syllables. Make sure you read it out loud and you KNOW it flows to the beat. When you post the verse, post a link to the beat (so find an instrumental on youtube or smtn) so we can see if it flows. If you really really suck at that then you'll either want to start practicing your ass off or just quit.

[Slim Zaddy]

Jesus guys

Ok I won't lie and say this isn't whack as fuck. But you're where a lot of people are when they first start out (assuming you just started)

You need to make your lines longer. Like 9-12 syllables long. You can keep the basic rhyming because you're just starting and that'll fuck with your mechanics until you're at least half way decent. You need to write to a beat because I can see flow being a serious problem. You need to write a longer piece. I mean this was like 4 or 6 bars and wasn't even worth posting because there's NO WAY to judge you based on this alone. When you do write a longer piece (I'm suggesting the normal 16 bar verse) then I'd STRONGLY urge you to write about something. Like actually write about something important to you. The savior of whackness is emotion and everybody has that except Keanu Reeves. Rapping about nothing is hard as shit because you have to make up for lack of content with punchlines, flow, metaphors, concepts, and a bunch of other shit you've never even smelled.

So here's your assignment: write a 16 bar verse about something at least somewhat meaningful to you to a beat with lines that are roughly 10 syllables. Make sure you read it out loud and you KNOW it flows to the beat. When you post the verse, post a link to the beat (so find an instrumental on youtube or smtn) so we can see if it flows. If you really really suck at that then you'll either want to start practicing your ass off or just quit.

i'm sorry if i was mean or something, cuz i wasn't in the mood at all . but ya as James said , take his word precisely, James is a fucking legend in writing i hev benefit a lot from him.. so my advice to you to do as he said , and try to practice as said , and i hope that you will be good, and i will check your next writhing though ,, gd luck man

[Robbie G]

The audio wasn't actually that bad.

[survce]

Thanks for the advice as well as the compliments. I'm no where near a professional and I'll take every bit of the criticism thrown my way. How else can a person learn to improve what they write? Right?

[survce]

Thanks for your advice McMaybe. Can I add you to my friends list?

[survce]

?Soldierbird.mp3

[survce]

After reading my reviews my learning journey continues
It seems like I need to re-think some of the words that I use
I have nothing to loose and refuse to cry to the blues
So bear with me as I will learn as I go to better my flow.

[James R.]

After reading my reviews my learning journey continues
It seems like I need to re-think some of the words that I use
I have nothing to loose and refuse to cry to the blues
So bear with me as I will learn as I go to better my flow.

80 times better man