initiate

by **Ka0t1c** » Jan 22nd, '09, 23:37

i initiate the engage and i anticipate those enraged
since that i participate on the big stage
but don't hate when i hit the front page

many men might state what i spit is just light weight
by the way i'm really quite frank when i say i rhyme great
but they'll make me irate which isn't the right bait

i'm an emcee who writes fate, on the mic i drive straight
til my sight is empty, i'm the type who likes high stakes
with no kind of a break cuz living is how my life's based

i know, it's oddly structured...

by **M-Pyre** » Jan 23rd, '09, 01:33

some good shit man, I like.

nice vocab
good multi's
an ok topic
structure wasn't bad

give it an 8/10

keep going man

by **Ka0t1c** » Jan 23rd, '09, 03:46

thanx

by **MC Anonymous** » Jan 23rd, '09, 03:50

Kaotic wrote:i initiate the engage and i anticipate those enraged
since that i participate on the big stage
but don't hate when i hit the front page

many men might state what i spit is just light weight
by the way i'm really quite frank when i say i rhyme great
but they'll get me irate which isn't the right bait

i'm an emcee who writes fate, on the mic i drive straight
til my sight is empty, i'm the type who likes high stakes
with no kind of a break cuz living is how my life's based

i know, it's oddly structured...

As always, a solid drop from my homie Kaotic. :y:

All I have to say is, to improve, you should add more multies, preferably 4-5syllable ones. It'll help flow and give ya drops more of a lyrical sense. now for poetry it doesn't matter. So take my criticism for what it's worth. Once again, solid drop. :y:

by **Ka0t1c** » Jan 23rd, '09, 07:42

ok, MC Anon, thanx for your input, i will work on that then

by **survce** » Jan 23rd, '09, 08:01

You know I did'nt realize what catagory you fell into until now. When I was posting yesterday. I never asked and for that matter was'nt even looking for insite. The reason being was I did'nt know how to use the sight. Yet you replied to my post. Shoot I did'nt mind that at all. Kinda thought I was makin' friend. Then all you did was talk shit and dis everything I said and did. The moral of my story is.

GOOD LUCK :y:

Peace

by **Ka0t1c** » Jan 23rd, '09, 08:18

lol, sometimes i'm harsh with criticism, i'm just tryna make u tougher so maybe that u can get out ur true emotions and work harder on ur rhymes. i'm hoping i'm pushin you in the right direction. btw, i'm not really an asshole

by **survce** » Jan 23rd, '09, 08:53

Damn I did'nt expect that. My bad then. I just recorded a free style, but I ain't gonna let you see it now that I see your intention's.

by **survce** » Jan 23rd, '09, 08:56

Oop's

Look bitch you wanna? Fine online lets rhyme
Make a sound you goin down you fuckin clown
I bet you fuckin look like charlie brown fuckin punk
You spit stupid shit what the fuck bitch go get bent suck my dick
And when you done blow a bubble with my cum What the fuck
Initiate? First you gotta instigate show you got attraction
For tha trash yo mouth compacting Then you take some action
Are you showin' your diploma from you must be in a coma son
You write like a child with a high fahrenheit what the fuck you do all night
Hope you aint wasting paper with your shit oughta be a law where's the government
I think this motha fucker is another failed experiment actin like he's heaven sent
Let me judge all your shit I wanna be the first can't you tell I'm fuckin lovin it

No offence. Really.

by **Ka0t1c** » Jan 23rd, '09, 09:19

actually i'm not even mad, i'm impressed... no, it's better than i thought it would be...

by **survce** » Jan 23rd, '09, 09:22

by **Ka0t1c** » Jan 26th, '09, 21:14

by **James R.** » Jan 27th, '09, 01:16

survce wrote:Look b*tch you wanna? Fine online lets rhyme
Make a sound you goin down you f**kin clown
I bet you f**kin look like charlie brown f**kin punk
You spit stupid sh*t what the f**k b*tch go get bent suck my d*ck
And when you done blow a bubble with my cum What the f**k
Initiate? First you gotta instigate show you got attraction
For tha trash yo mouth compacting Then you take some action
Are you showin' your diploma from you must be in a coma son
You write like a child with a high fahrenheit what the f**k you do all night
Hope you aint wasting paper with your sh*t oughta be a law where's the government
I think this motha f**ker is another failed experiment actin like he's heaven sent
Let me judge all your sh*t I wanna be the first can't you tell I'm f**kin lovin it

There were some forced ass mutlies through some of it, basic ass rhyming through the rest of it, flow was iffy, it's not terrible, but if Kaotic responded he'd murder you.

Anyways, I liked your shit Kaotic. I'd agree with MC Anon though. Some multies would be help this out. Make it a little more complex without sacrificing flow and upping creativity. You could make it happen man.

by **Ka0t1c** » Jan 27th, '09, 01:21

you're absolutely right on both of your comments... i could murder him but he's new and i made him mad... lol

and yes, this piece just wasn't 100% like i thought, it lacked versatility

by **survce** » Jan 27th, '09, 02:05

Lol you did'nt make me mad

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